George Carlin Quotes

I would love to see this guy in person sometime.

Cows
"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the State of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each one of them a cow."

Constitution
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore."

Ten Commandments
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!"

Martha Stewart
"Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, ! but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off to jail."

 

I Have seen some of his shows he is hillarious!!!!!

 

I saw him two years ago at the Turning Stone Casino her in NY and as a big fan of his from way back I was disappointed at his act then and as of late. He got very bitter and even started to get mean (I kinda like it when alot of people die world tour as an example).

For the most part he is great and his routines on Euphamisms and the airlines are classics