girls? wtf?

girls? wtf?
I understand some stuff related to sciencey crap, such as dieting/bulking/maintaining, very little about computers
Refeeds and the psychological "need" for free meals.

So I can now lose fat and still eat my donuts or box of cereal and still lose fat.....
I think females are pretty much the same way, you can learn what it takes to get what you want out of them.

I dont understand them. will I ever understand them to know how to "Get them?"
I'm sure that I might, the same way I learned about dieting/working out in the past. trail/error. Isnt there a faster way? Maybe a book on the topic?"

maybe it's the age of the girl I've been dating, 24, it's only been 4 months, but she doesnt make me happy......enough....50-75% of the time I am with her we do stuff that is sexual.....but I want the little things, that seemed to have stopped(since she lost her phone) the texts, but she can't even make me a CD, (claims her brother erased all her songs, it is his computer)
I'm just looking for a way to understand the process I need to get to have her want me and show me she wants me, she tells me, but action>>>words

Im certainly tempted to just post stuff I'm not understanding in this thread, but how did everyone else here learn this stuff and end up in a "happy relationship"?
thanks

 

You dont "figure" ppl out, you simply say, if there's chemistry great!, go WITH IT, not against it, not in front or behind blah blah... go with it.
Little things gone, excuses etc... you're wasting your time. Move on
and here's the hardest one to grasp, NO EXPECTATIONS, ie: do not expect from that person what you expect for yourself, remember, you are 2 different ppl. and each of you although similar in many ways no doubt, will do things and think things differently. thats a guarantee.
Dont make promises YOU can't keep, and dont expect the same in return. crap happens, deal with it, get over it move on.

With my wife, I ask very few questions about where she was, who shes with blah blah, I just simply say, Ok Hun, have fun!
I do not expect her to do things the way i would do them, she does the same for me.
We do not ever judge one another no matter what our point of view on any subject is, we may disagree, but, we agree to disagree and don't hold it personal.
I ask her how HER day was, BEFORE I tell her about my day, and that works vice-versa as well.

Those are just a few examples....

 

Also, not all relationships are perfect or happy.
You will always have good days and bad ones. How you work with each other to get through them is what makes or breaks a relationship.

 

We talked to each other.

 

right, I am interested in the how/why aspect,
I understand when you are hungry and go to the grocery store, you are likely to eat just about anything and that will satisfy your hunger.
but maybe a can of chili isn't the best choice in the long run, so with a bit of knowledge you can overcome your brain's desire for eating chili and get the ingredients to make a turkey sandwich.

With the Coolidge effect novelty itself is what seems to drive you to find someone new,
http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect

so with that in mind...does anyone do stuff like this?
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic

 

If you're approaching a relationship like you would a math problem, you're not going to do well. TALK to each other. If you're having a problem with something she is or is not doing, tell HER about it, not us. Not that you can't come here for advice, but if she doesn't know you're missing some things in the relationship she can't do anything about it.

Relationships are not remotely about logic. You will never figure anyone out to the extent you seem to want to (but then from your posts I can't really tell if you want to figure her out in an effort to find out what she wants, or just because you're not getting some things that you want). Communication is key, as is give and take. You have to compromise.

I don't get what you mean by this:
I'm just looking for a way to understand the process I need to get to have her want me and show me she wants me, she tells me, but action>>>words

You say you're doing sexual things together, but that's not enough to let you know she wants you? You need to her send you text messages and make you CDs in order to prove she wants you? What do you do for her to show you want her? It goes both ways.

It can't be all about what you want, as there are two people in the relationship. Can you make your own CDs? Maybe you should make her one! If her brother erased all her music, she doesn't have any either, and it would be a very nice gesture on your part to provide her with some. Obviously if she lost her phone she can't send text messages...maybe you could help her get a new phone?

You've only given us what you want her to do to make the relationship work, and nothing of what you might be doing. Maybe she's asking her friends a similar question. If you're serious about using a binding spell to keep her, then maybe this relationship is already beyond help. The lazy way to stay in love? Are you SERIOUS? If you're too lazy to make an effort toward making the relationship work, you don't deserve one.

 

I couldn't have said it any better Sgt.
It is a give-take and if you really care for her and want the same in return you need to talk to her and let her know. Against popular belief women CAN NOT read minds.We can perceive what others may need or want but unless otherwise told women don't have that ability to read minds,At least not all women

 

Like me and the internet

You want your 24 year old girlfriend to make you a mix CD? C'mon:-D

And you want what?A Discrete blend of music from various decades which while not only nice to listen to speaks to both your hearts and your love for each other? :-D

If you want a happy relationship stop hooking up with 24 year old girls and just date someone from your highschool:-D

I'm just messin with ya tv

 

Theres always going to be things in a relationship that will cause one side or the other to hurt in areas. Its kinda like politics and religion. You just cant talk about them without someone saying something! Anyways things you need and if not then don't mess around and get marry to her if its not going to be a good one. Be honest and tell her/him what is up and why this and that. And also you should be able to trust them... if not then you'll be jealous like most others do and get into it all the time wondering where you are and where shes at! But if she doesn't atleast txt or call you when at a club.. then start questioning after some time.. But the best thing I think is to speak up and say what you want or to work on... It can only get better or worst. And if she don't want to then (find someone else or go single for a while).


The way I think is funny if and when I get old is the show Everybody loves Raymen. Being the grandma is funny to me..

 

Nowhere have I ever seen it written saying that relationships were easy.
They are give/take, pain/happiness, arguing/reconciliation.
It's up to both parties involved to make it work. If only one is working at it, it can't get done.

 

Just be VERY careful if you develope a relationship with one like this.


One like this is OK.

 

This I simply must disagree with. I see no reason whatsoever for her (or him, for that matter) to check in with the other person while out at a club or anywhere else with other friends. You talk about trust...that's a big one. If you can't trust someone to go out dancing with her friends without making her send you text messages the whole time, there's something definitely wrong with YOU, not her.

 

I am sorry if i offend someone but am i alone in thinking this is all a bit juvenile??

Any relationship is based on trust,sharing and companionship, it's something both parties have to work on.
I would never think to say to my wife "text me about where you are and who you are with" because i trust her and if you can not do that you are in the wrong relationship.

I admit when we were younger and the relationship was new we would phone each other several times a day just to say hi.

I really think you need to look at your own needs and what you want from this but at the same time respect your partners privacy and wishes.

The bottom line is any relationship is about give and take, you have to work at it and if you find you can not give then you do not deserve your partner.

 

Well said Bill! It's not figuring 'them' out as some math problem but figuring yourself out first, the rest falls into place. Look in the mirror sir.

 

I have done plenty of shit to show her I care about her, including, but not at all limited to buying her a new phone...actually, I lent her the money ~1 month ago to buy the phone she lost, she was at work, so I went to her friend and bought it for her.
I bought her, what my friend said was great shampoo/conditioner for dyed hair(she's a natural blonde who dyes it red) and when she lost her phone(that she never paid me for) I got her a new phone(the only reason I say she owes me money is for the money she asked to borrow to buy the 1st phone, the phone I bought her is just a gift cause a phone would make her life easier(it's her account etc)
The lazy way to stay in love is about bonding, if I could inject her with Oxytocin, I would

Understanding why things happen is what I'm about, manipulating her feelings for me, ya/nay, is akin to knowing why you are/arent losing weight. You have that little gauge on your car that tells you when gas is needed, there is no gauge to say when some bonding time is needed.

Communication is key, yes, and she and I talked about how we need to spend more time together doing the bonding/friendship aspect of our relationship and we have planned that for today or thursday, we are just busy.
I got this book that my friend said he liked
http://www.audiobooksonline.com/media/Sex-on-the-Brain-12-Lessons-to-Enhance-Your-Love-Life-Daniel-Amen-unabridged-Tantor-Audiobooks.jpg

 

that's not what I said, she told me she had the unedited version of the CD I was given and could make me a copy. only to tell me later, her music was gone

I cant find where I said I wanted her to tell me where she goes, what she does, etc...
the other posters said this, not me

When she had a phone, she'd use to do this and in fact she called me just the other night when she got home from work~1030pm, just to say hi...
I like this, so how do I reinforce this behavior?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
__________________

 

watchntv, no idea about the contents of the book. You seem to be getting a lot of action any way.
How about going for the supposed "Best seller" the author has also written. It's mentioned on the cover...

Cheers...

 

Yes, there is. And once you've figured yourself out, you'll know where it is and how to read it.

You really seem to be going about this all the wrong way. I have to agree with Bill, this seems a bit juvenile. You're on an internet forum begging for relationship advice rather than talking to a friend or to the other person in the relationship... in addition to juvenile, that strikes me as a bit, well, stupid. Troll warning, anyone?

 

Was wondering the same. Maybe, watchntv is having a good one on all the responders :-D

 

Getting his jollies?

 

It's not like that sort of thing hasn't been going on in the lounge lately... Not necessarily from the watchntv...

Just sayin.

 

You can be forgiven sometimes thinking you are no longer on a tech forum but it adds a little humor to the proceedings.

I think there are only 2 or 3 members who indulge in these type of posts but it is interesting to see the responses.

 

You remind me of one of a teenage girl I know,she was annoyed and depressed with her boyfriend because she was instigating more hugs than him.:banghead

I find it hard to take you seriously the way you talk about molding this girls actions and behaviour for your own personal gratification,if you were joking it would be kinda funny but I'm not sure you are which makes all this a bit weird:-D

Like asking a girlfriend to wear a wig so she looks like your ex wife...

 

Yeah, I'd come to the troll conclusion myself. There were a lot of good things in my post, but instead he chose to get his panties in a twist about one thing I said. Whatever, I'm done. I have to go work on my own relationship right now, as it's a little strained at the moment. Seems I don't call him enough or make him CDs any more, he can't figure me out because I'm not a math problem. Not to mention how our sex life is lacking! That's obviously a HUGE problem! Of course, he moved 1200 miles away exactly four months ago today...could be part of the issue... Good thing we're grownups!

 

roflmao Yup, you sure have a lot on your plate to attend to.:-D