Glasshoppah...

...So I finds this here large grasshopper on the morning-glorys.. munching big holes in the leaves... So that's what's been wrecking the flower garden...

I snaps it up in a flash, and holds it tight between thumb and finger tip.. just about as tight a squeeze as it can take without it squishing.. and I holds its face a couple inches from mine, and says, "You are wrecking my garden!.. I don't want you here!.. I could Crush you in a flash!" (as I squeezes a little more.. and hears a couple tiny crunches..) "Do you want to leave and not return?"..

Instantly the bug nods three quick "Yes" knods... So I lets it go, and it flies out of sight non-stop...

I didn't know bugs understood English..???

 

Uhhhh, you haven't been drinking Morning Glory tea have you?

 

Monster was released from the psych ward a wee bit early.

 

Hmmm..? "morning glory tea".. that would be "lisurgic acid" in the seeds.. Nope I wasn't into "magic-tea"... It happened with the bug just as I described... Check it out with a grasshopper to prove it to yourself... but you might need be sitting...

OK.. Today I finds an absolutely huge garden spider, dangling in the corner of my utility room.. so I grabs a grasshopper I found splashing around in the rain barrel, and asks it if it wants to leave.. It didn't nod its head anything, so into the spider's web it went...

So how do you make "morning glory tea"..? I bet it's poisonous big-time... like how in hundreds of years ago, when the rye flour bins got infected with ergot fungus, and towns unwittingly still made bread of it.. and the whole town went on a wicked Timothy Leiry trip...

Hows about when the Beatles put LSD in the British parliament's drinking water a few decades ago... Whoo!.. I bet those grumpy old "stick in the bum" wig-head fellers sure got a new outlook on reality... They wouldn't have know what was happnin' to them... I bet some of them actually thought "they were being taken up into heaven, or worse"...

 

Actually in the 70's they took morning glory seeds off the market, don't know in what form people were using them but then they took to smoking banana peels so it had to stop somewhere couldn't outlaw everything

LauraR ::looking around:: I think I may have fallen down the rabbit hole.

that made me laugh out loud

 

That's when I started buying Hawaiian Wood Rose seeds, LOL

@Monster.... The grasshoppers fear me and the spiders run from me, as I carry a big bottle of insecticide around my yard. And it's spelled lysergic acid (Timothy Leary must be rolling over in his grave)
http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sign/sign0015.gif

 

never heard of that one

 

That's good, monster, that you didn't kill him. I'm sure he won't be returning anymore

 

Ditto!

 

You posted that flame from inside your own ward...
I'm outside, you silly...
Look around you... Is everything perfect..?
What is the state of things on your side..?


Anyway.. I gets up this AM, and makes my way to the shower...
There's this here young moth buzzing around the light...
I says to the bug, "Hii Sweetheart.. I can take you to a better place"..
And the bug seems so extremely excited, that it found a friend in this crazy world, that it bumps my face and shoulders and hand repeatedly, like maybe it's so excited that it's shidding itself... I telepaths a pix of it resting safely in my hand.. and it lands right in the middle of my open hand.. and I gently closes my hand, and takes the little critter to the door, and releases it... It crawls around my hand a bit, then flies away...

Bottom line: Be nice to the little life, and big life will be nice right back...

I'm writing a manuscript on the psychology of psychiatry ("Blue Base Eternity").. but me thinks it's too early for your species to know this stuff... At least I tried... I suppose these notes be best burned in the garden, on my birthday, along with these technologies to grow PC's that you wear on your fore-arms as skin-grafts... You critters just ain't ready for this stuff...

You want to talk "crazy"... I'll give you real-crazy... I tried since 1978 to finance a lab, to build for your species, 300 new technologies... All I got was flack and flame, and people trying to harm my life... So I give-up on it and you... I'm 60 on Sept. 14/07... The notes burn in the garden that day if I am not at my lab at noon that day... I used up my whole life to acquire all this technology for your species... I've taken it as far as I can on my own... If you want floating/flying cars, and out of solar system engines, 200-million new chemicals, and thousands new devices.. your only option is to find me a small state of the art laser and lapidary lab... Humanity has 9-days to wake up to a little reality.. after which all this technology, in these 75-thousand extremely condensed pages, is a bonfire, and I've "changed course in midstream" into building plastic homes, and gardens, for friendly wilderness critters... I've had enough of abuses from those who can't fathom anything new, and fear everything new and change... I was only trying to make life better and easier for your species... What's so wrong with that?..

Why do you critters always bite the hand that tries to feed you?..

Where and how did you get the right to insult me?..

 

You ever heard of re-incarnation? Where you die and come back as a cricket!

Just a thought

 

You are a nutcase. Do we have any forum members who can make a medical diagnosis of this guy?

 

You did. I concur. http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/whacky110.gif
I thought the '70's were good to me but........
Interesting writings, though

 

Monster is not related to David Ike is he? U.K. readers will remember him David Ike.LOL

 

Now there's a thought phantom
Maybe this guy IS him !!
I had better watch out or I will be called a lizard LOL