How do kids cope withthis?.....

My best friend's granddaughter has been diagnosed with 2 brain tumors that turned out to be cancer... How in the world do kids cope with this?
she is 11 years old, and after her first bout with Chemo, she has lost all of her hair... It just fell out in chunks, and she has got another at least 3 more to go thru, and I just would like to know, how do kids cope with this?

I mean, it is hard enough for adults to go thru it, and when I seen this child, it just broke my heart... Oh, I am helping the family as much as I can, but how does the child cope with this?

She knows that at least another year of treatments, and all we can do is give her all the positive reinforcements we can, but you know, it is really hard, when you see how sick the child gets.. We all try to help, but she is the one that has to go thu this... :cry

Sorry if I am just rambling on, it does help to get it off my chest... And I really shouldn't complain, as that child has to go thru so much more than me... :cry

 

I hear the pain... When it comes to children who are afflicted with cancer, life is unfair.....It also breaks my heart to see children suffer as well..

How do they cope?... Well... from what I heard parents and medical people say, is that children seem to be very resillient and are sometimes able to handle things far better than the adults especially when it comes to cancer. They seem to have a knowing and exceptional strengh as well as having an easier acceptance about life and death.

Well let's hope and pray your best-friend's grand-daughter will pull thru this and becomes well.

Keep the Faith....

Shelagh

 

Yeah, I heard the same, about being so much more stronger, and all, but surely it has got to take it's toll on them, for sure... I know you are right, tho, about being resilient , because I don't think I could go thru what she is.

it is just hard to watch, and all the support we give them, it is still hard. But, we plug along...

 

Life sucks don't it !

There i was watching tv with the wife a couple of weeks ago and we were discussing what was going on in our lives i:e worries and money problems and yada yada yada !
Then my daughter who is at Uni, and as part of her curriculum for her masters degree, has been working at the local primary school, she popped home for lunch as usual, she sits down to tell us this story about one of the little girls at the scool aged just 5yrs, like TeeCee's friends child, this little girls mum had been taking her to the doctors and he was just giving her tonics and saying she was run down, but when her mum took her for a second opinion to the hospital the girl has bowel cancer and was about to begin her first course of chemo :cry,
You couldn't of made a fist the size of the lump in my throat :cry:cry:cry

Now please can any one tell me what troubles i or my wife have ! BASICS ZERO !

 

Perhaps a collective prayer from Major Geeks

 

That's heartbreaking, both stories, it's hard to understand why a child gets sick, why a child has to go through such a tortuous treatment, really makes one wonder.
Hoping both, all sick children, come out alright.

 

I think it has a lot to do with the kids not knowing trouble as an adult does. A kid doesn't worry about money, friendships (much), relationships or anything else you can pick that would drive an adult mad.

Since I was less than a year old, I've had Hydrocephalus which loosely translates to water on the brain, and while I was in the hospital dealing with that, at one point they found I also had Kawasaki Syndrome. They're both mildly rare things, which most have probably not heard of. Ronald Reagan ended up with the first, after he fell off a horse.

I was raised as though every kid went to a hospital 3 hours away 4 times a year growing up. I knew enough to realize that I wasn't the average kid, but never thought that I had a handicap. I think when a kid doesn't know the troubles of an adult, they don't act as an adult would.

An adult likely has seen cancer take the life of someone. A child might not have had the chance. Death is also more of a reality to an adult than a child.

I also think that children are generally more determined than adults, and probably have a higher likelyhood of survival. Sitting here able to type at all is a testament to that, at least for me.

I still don't treat myself as though I have a handicap, or anything wrong with me, I don't do the doctor visits anymore, and it's under control as far as anyone can tell. Is it still reality? Yeah. Could it complicate things down the road? Sure, but it hasn't too much in the past, so why wait for it to?

I think it's great when someone has cancer, and another person willingly shaves their head, any kind of encouragement will go a long way. Hang in there, all of you.

 

Yes, it sure does make our "problems" look pretty darn small, doesn't it? Thanks for every one's thoughts here...Oh, she knows what she has, and knows what she is going thru. No sugar coating at all.... I am so glad to hear I am not alone. I have to add, too, that my problems are nothing compared to what these kids have to go thru... As a matter of fact, I don't have any complaints now..

 

Well done, Sue, for having the inner strength to discuss this, as it can be a really touchy subject.
I pray that this little girl receives the strength to recover from this. It is obviously taking it out of her and her family. Please pass on best wishes and hope for a positive outcome. As bad as things may seem, medicine is making huge strides now and anything is possible.

My mate Andy lost his nine year old son, Jack three years ago to cancer. Don't remember the name of the disease, but it was pretty rare. Jack went through the mill with it, but was seriously undaunted right up until the very end. He passed away with his family around him.
Pax says he sees it as great that others shave their heads as a form of encouragement to the sufferer. Me and Andy both shaved our heads and three years down the line they're still baldy. We look less ugly that way. Jack said so.

 

Hat's off to you Joe. This subject is far too touchy to keep coming back and adding to it. There are lots of people who had, and survived cancer, and went on to do great things.

I've been through brain surgery on more than one occasion, it's not a picnic, but there are worse things that I could pick to go through. TC, if you need anything hit the PM button and let me know, I'll discuss anything openly as well, any way I can help, being through some of what may come, I'm game. :major

 

Oh Pax, sorry for what you went through, one the other hand it's under control. Good for you, hoping it stays that way. :clap

 

Thanks Darlene. By the time I was a teenager, I was more upset about all the neurologists being old men, rather than young women. LOL I don't get head aches really (I think it has something to do with my shunt) but when I do, they're bad.. and it scares the hell out of me, though they're probably just the normal head ache that everyone gets.

/end hijack

 

Just a quicky Pax and don't take offence but do some people treat you differently reason why i ask is i have a niece who broke hear spine when she was only eleven and just cos she's in a wheel chair people do her, like if she goes to the shop with her kids to get sweets they talk over her and talk to the kids instead, it really gets me going i'll scream out in annoyance she's the one with the money and buying the sweets talk to her !

 

I appear normal. I'm not in a wheel chair and my shunt is internal. Growing up, the people who knew I had this thing, where the people I chose to let know. When I was in 5th grade, I had the surgery, and of course when they shaved my head to do it, they only did the half that mattered, and that's how it stayed, so I was ridiculed for that.. I've always been strong though, it comes in time with everyone.

Yeah, people looked at me differently, I never played football, or things like that and it was hard. I never wanted to tell kids why I couldn't, just had to act like I didn't want to.

People like me, and I'm sure your niece, can afford to be more genuine than a lot of others. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm also not ashamed to pull up a wheel chair and sit and talk to someone as close to an equal as I can. If I see someone being disrespected, watch out.

At least your niece had a spine to break, the people who treat her differently, obviously do not.

Edit: I'm 30, if someone looked at me like I was different, I'd be alright not dealing with them anymore. It's different when you're younger, I use to hate the things people would call me, or the reasons they'd give for not being friendly. I was normal, you know? I have a cousin with autism and he's awesome, by far my favorite relative. Sure he's different, but give him a basketball and he'll hit more half court shots than you make from the line.

People are always going to look at people with illness, or handicaps differently, and it sucks.. But those people don't make it very far in life I can't imagine so why bother with the peons? He who laughs last, laughs the hardest.

 

That is exactly how I feel. I hate disparity towards others less fortunate than 'normal' people. The people with the problems ain't the ones with the disabilities.

Sorry to hear of your trials, Paxton, but they don't seem to have made you bitter. On the contrary, you seem more grounded than most folk I know. And I know a lot of folk.

 

I've never thought of it that way when you said
"At least your niece had a spine to break, the people who treat her differently, obviously do not." never a true word said Pax mate i admire you and anyone with disabilities so you got my vote all the way to the bank !!!!:clap
So if you ever bump into the numbnuts who disrespect you tell them :kissmy!!!

 

TeeCee I'm sorry to hear of the childs ill health. I agree 100% with Pax about the way children think and feel. They haven't experienced the things we have/do/did as adults so they are still babes in the making. I don't know your beliefs and not intending any wrong but I was always told children are Gods unfinished products of life and he feels that when one isn't growing right by his book then he brings them back home(heaven) to correct them and sends them back(to another family as a new born or adoption) to start over again in a better way.
It just hurts too much to hear of this and know that the only thing you can do is think positive and pray for the best and that is what I will do. So tell the parents & grandparents of this child I will pray for her Please. Try not to dwell on it too much and when you do,think about when you where a child and the worst thing that could have happened to you. I can almost guarantee you'll understand how children can cope with things we,as adults, can not. As Pax said if there is anything I can do even if it's just to vent, PM me. I'm told I'm a good listener.

 

Thank you BT, it will be a long struggle for her, but I just found out, that she won't need the brain biopsy after all :clap Now, it will be 30 days of radiation and then more Chemo... Yes, kids can be quite resilient, but this is just something I had never seen a child go thru before... I know how hard it is for an adult, but a child, that is something else entirely... Thanks for the note, I might just take you up on that too!:-o

Yes, I will send your message on to the parents... I don't think my childhood would be a good comparison tho....rolleyes

 

I would like to send that girl a hat, I can send two colors. The company I work for (My father owns) has our hats laying all over the place down here. I have red and Khaki. Can this be done?

Anyone else with me here?

 

Give me somewhere to send to and I'll send a couple.
Might turn out to be a really good idea of yours, Paxton. Lift Taytem's spirits no end.

 

You people are incredible, does a heart good

 

The real good thing to from children is their smile no matter how ill they are no matter how bad they feel they'll always smile at the end of it, when you see them in hospitals maybe just coming round from the anesthetic or walkiong down the hospital corridor if you smile at them and ask if they are alright they'll always smile as if there was nothing wrong.
I'll send hats too !! Sorry can't write anymore got tears coming ! :cry

 

Oh, you guys are too much! :cry yeah, I got that tear too! Just PM me, and I'll give you the address, no problem there... I am going to rename you guys! From "Geeks" to "Spirit-Lifters" or maybe, "Spirit-Lifting Geeks"! :grouphug That just might do it! Thanks, to everyone, you are all just the bestest!

 

My hats are going out today. I'm not much of a letter writer, but I'm giving it a shot, who am I to let that be the concern, you know?

I think this is one of the most important threads that I've ever posted in here, I don't think there's one attempt at real humor or anything, it's nice. You guys really are awesome.

 

Good Morning Paxton, just write a note, and give her some encouragement. Just tell her she is a brave girl. Tell her a little about yourself.. Your concern is much appriciated BIGTIME! :heart You are going to put a HUGE SMILE on her face you know!

 

I'm hoping from the best! :strong(Prayer Warrior)

I'll share from my personal experiences:

My oldest is a type one diabetic for three years now and about to turn 14. He's stronger than me or my wife about the twice (sometimes thrice) daily insulin injections and up to 10 daily blood sugar testings. It's hardest for him to control the amount of sugar and the amount of total carbs (which turn into sugar) and seeing the rest of the family eat the way we do. I've pretty much stopped eating sugary foods in front of him, and I'm amazed at the sheer will power he has to not just raid the fridge at times.

My youngest was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when he was just 9 months old. He was developmentally slow and had severe digestive problems. The diagnosis was grim, he could improve, but would probably plateau. Improve - plateau. End up in a wheelchair like the worst case scenario. But he improved miraculously. Though physical and occupational and speech therapy over the course of 6 years, he improved to the point that one couldn't tell that there is "something wrong" with him. He is my biggest source of reason to believe in God and I'm not afraid to point out that God determined to show His healing power through my sons.

Don't give up hope -- she may be healed! Either way, may my experience give you some peace.

http://64.136.20.22/2252460_l.jpg

Josh and Zach on Zach's 8th Grade graduation this year.

 

Thank you , PapaDuke, that is truly inspiring! And your boys are handsome and strong! No, we don't give up hope, we must believe! You are a true testament of that! Thank you for sharing with us. :strong

 

Your boys are beautiful PapaD, truly inspirational, wishing them continued good health. All the babies here, I myself have 40 something year old babies.

 

Sorry, PapaD. Not sorry for your boys, they are and will be fine. With parental guidance like yours, how could they not be? No, I'm sorry for taking your view of God as a kind and loving God and scoffing at it without understanding the reasoning for your beliefs. I see your point of view, now.
I still believe if there is a God, and I suppose there could be, he certainly ain't the God I used to believe in.
I hope there is a God and that He is the all loving, all knowing God I used to pray to. Now I believe that I am praying to a terrible being who may or may not care about us, His children.

Right, don't want to turn this into a religious discussion, so.....
The incredible thing about kids is their resilience. They are an amazingly tough breed. I still choke at the thought of kids that suffer, though. I hate to read about it, see it or be told about it. But my joy at seeing kids happy and undaunted by their condition is probably the greatest feeling I could ever get. We have to celebrate the hardiness of our next generations, and I for one will never be at peace until the children in all our lives are free from pain, anguish and hurt.
May God help them, protect them and cherish them. However compassionate or cruel He is.

LOL I am often told the same by the wife!