I just need to vent...

I know times are hard all around these days, but I'm just really messed up and I just need to rant out and be told it will be ok someday soon. I'm going to post actually dollar amounts too, and I don't care, because you can't take what I DONT have...

So with less than $2000 in the bank, a shut off notice for NYMO and the Water bill, a baby on the way which I have NOTHING for, and nothing on the foreseeable horizon to make it better... we went down to social services and applied for assistance. Food stamps, and possible assistance. We filled out all the paperwork, brought everything we needed and waited for four hours to be called up and told we don't qualify. For anything at all.

I was told, we are middle class. Kevin apparently makes over $500/wk but brings home only $331 after child support and taxes. Kahlyn gets SSI and less than $40/wk for child support. All together we make apparently $2500ish/mo - which we had NO idea about! - because it all goes to that stupid fing car. We wanted to surrender it so we called the bank and we have two choices... Sell the car to someone willing to pay it off (lets all hold our breath) or trade it in for a less expensive car - which we totally would do! Except Kevin can't get a loan and there is no one to co-sign for it since I am not working. It's eating us alive.

I wish someone would just ram into it when it was parked and do us all a favor. Insurance pays off the loan, we scape together for a junker.. life would go on! So basically there goes 4 hours of my life I will never get back.

The Lady at the welfare counter gave me a glimmer of hope though. She said since we have an FHA loan that FHA IS HUD and HUD may be willing to allow me to pay the interest only on the loan for a period of up to two years to allow us to get back on our feet. If that turns out to be true, that may save our lives. I walked over to HUD and a nice man gave me a number to call because his office doesn't handle that sort of thing, and tomorrow when all these noisy people are out of my hair I will give them a call.

Then we went over to the WIC office, and Hallelujah we qualify for that. They reinstated my previous case with Kahlyn, gave me a list of stuff to bring, and made us an appointment for 10/6 to get set up. Oh that will help so much... milk and cheese and pb and eggs... and when baby comes, formula - which is up to almost $15 a canister.

Kevin also tried to apply for a meager $5000 personal loan to float us for now and we can both fix together afterwards. We had planned if it worked out to leave it in the bank and pay the payments and the bills with it. Dig a little hole to plant a flower, basically. But again, he doesn't qualify because he has borderline credit with two small collection accounts, and they wont do it without a co-sign. God I wish we knew anyone... but sadly, we don't.

Kevin came back and got information to pay off those things. So they will come off his credit report. But in the meantime... it is what it is.

So yea... today was extremely frustrating and annoying. I made Kevin take me to my best friend Nique's so I could put my head on her shoulder and cry, but her kids were evil and giving her their own problems... but I did get a baby hug. A nice big long one, and that made me happy.

I came home and spent like an hour filling out the unemployment information... I'm pretty sure that will get shut down too, the way my day is going, but it's worth a shot. Tomorrow I call the mortgage and then medicaid, and we see what there is to see about insurance and maybe a short break.

Waiting for tomorrow though... today is not my day. Cross your fingers?

All in all? I need a hug. Love me?

 

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif

Sounds and looks tough, Wenchie, but just have faith that things will get better and they will.
The story you told is the same for 1000's of folks.
(And yeah, that doesn't make your problem any smaller)

Just hang in there and keep fighting to keep your head above water and pretty soon you'll be walking on dry land.

 

::hug:: that's just what I needed, musky baby, thank you.

 

You know what i told you today. Give it time things will get better its always darkest before dawn. Much Love and Hugs your way.

 

You hang in there, and keep your feet planted... Soon, you will have a bundle of joy to take those tears away. :grouphug That little baby will be a blessing, you wait and see. Yeah, times are tough now, and sometimes it seems like :banghead but you know, when one door closes, open another...... Sounds like you are doing that too. Hang in there, I think you are on the right road. DON'T GIVE UP!

 

That bites Wenchie! (Hold on, PC non offensive Fred_G is thinking) It really sucks when people who are hard working and need a hand up cannot get it.

I think there should be massive reform in those areas.

Best of luck to you Wenchie! :grouphug

E

 

Do you know if the bambino will be a boy or girl?

We could organize a few things from a few members. Costs $5 to ship up to a pound or $8 for as much as you can get in the box....

 

Situations like these is why you have friends. So you can lean on a shoulder and get a hug, and then get chocolate and other comfort food after the hug. All that "hanging out and having fun together"-stuff you do with your friends is just gravy. Help when you need it is what they're actually there for.

Now, I barely know you, so it'd be awkward and weird if I tried to hug you, and I'm not a hugging person anyway, but having been in a similar situation, I'm thinking that if I could get out of it, when I was single, scared, frightened and barely capable of facing the world on my own, then someone like you, who has the strength, family and friends to help her, can get out of it as well.

The important thing is to keep fighting. When you're down on your knees, the crotch is finally in easy punching range.

 

Aw, Nada...Time for a group hug! http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/grphug.gif And the cyber-flowers!.....http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/blume_02.gif

Yeah, things may look gloomy right now, but the old cliché of 'Darkest before the Dawn' seems applicable right now. We've been through most of that, and then some, going back years and it is worrying to the max. Just take it one day at a time, because anything more is just too damn hard. Times like these, you do indeed need friends and people to share the burden with, and even though I'm far, far, away, I'm here to help in what, (little I can).

Take care, hun - and yep, things will get a whole lot better for sure! 'Cause you will make it so.

 

Extract from Max Ehrmann's Desiderata, 1927

Be cheerful Wenchie, things are unfolding as they should and this too will pass.....http://www.emotihost.com/glass10/4.gif

 

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/1.gif http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/2.gif http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/5.gif http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/6.gif

I know what its like Nada trying to get by day to day

But hang in there, hopefuly things will get easier soon.

 

Been there, for years at a time, thought that is what life was like when I was young. Nothing lasts forever (thank god) It's especially hard when you have children and double that being pregnant.
It will change, hang in there.

 

Thank you guys, so so much. It means a lot to me.

I don't have many people in my life... I have four dysfunctional univolved parents and only really one friend besides Kevin. So all the hugs really helps, and the warm wishes. I don't have alot of that to rebuild myself when i break down so ir just seems alot worse until i let it all out.

Oh, by the way, it's a boy. And don't worry about sending things... its nice but the things I really need are the big things that I truly would not want or expect someone else to try and pay for... like a stroller/carseat and a baby swing. Luckily I think I'm getting a crib donated, but have you see the prices of crib matresses and outfittings? its just unreal.. it's a racket and seriously I should get into it.

 

I visited our local Society of St Vincent De Paul‎ a few weeks back when wanting to donate a vacuum cleaner. While there I spotted some as new Designer Label dresses ($20, $40 and $50). Looks, quality and cost had me take them home, got out the sewing machine, with some modifications and a good wash, I now have three good looking outfits (cheap!), that my friends just love! (haven't told them my secret)

While at Vinnies, I looked around and was pretty much astounded at the quality of the stuff there, all going for a song! If your Vinnies are run along the same lines as ours here, you'll find some incredible. good quality bargains. Here, they refuse junk, and only take quality stuff, so I expect they have the same criteria where you are. Check 'em out.

 

I'm not sure we have one. There is a Catholic Charities drop off site that always had some really neat things in the window, I just have to figure out where they moved it.

Unfortunately the Salvation Army here is kind of a joke... for the most part people only donate things they wouldn't be caught dead in, not just can't use them anymore. Theres a pretty nasty attitude towards the underprivelaged here which astounds me because almost everyone IS.

 

Shame upon those people to have such a poor attitude towards others. But then, "what goes 'round, comes 'round", so they'll eventually get a taste of their own.

You should have same ""Vinnies shop(s) near you. Check on the internet "Society of St Vincent De Paul‎ ". The stores here are popular with everyone regardless of their standing, for the very fact that goods and clothing are of good quality and so cheap (monies used for those in need, and often "Vinnies" take from their own supplies to provide freely for those badly in need without funds). So its a win/win situation.

The Salvos here are just as picky with what donations they accept. Many times in the past, I've had to dump things for Council pick up month, because they were rejected by both Vinnies and Salvos! (eg Working order, old sewing machine, B/W TV, dressing table with mirror, bedside table, etc.) Pick up staff found items were too old and not presentable enough! So they refused donations. Their attitude is, and rightfully too, "These people are entitled to the best of things, so items must be as good as new, and just as modern...unless of course, they happen to be antiques of some worth!"

Vinnies' adverts even state: "This Centre is a contact point for accepting donations and has a referral facility for people seeking assistance. This Centre offers good quality second-hand goods for sale including clothing, household items and books."

Happy hunting!:wave

 

I don't know if this will help @ all, but when the baby comes I recomend the powered formula. My mom used that with my baby sister. It is exactacly the same, just add purified water.
::hug::
If you believe in yourself, you can make it through this.
Zack

 

Oh, well, I'm going to pump and dump - pump breast milk into a bottle - and supplement it with formula, for as long as I can.

 

TMI !!!!!!!

Poor kid. :-D

 

I must agree with you formula is a good thing. Our daughter just turned a year old last Monday and she was a premie, Do to my fiancee's schedule and work environment she could not keep up with pumping so we went to formula. :cry :-D Our baby has done just fine. In fact she has grown so much she is almost perfectly fitting into 18 month clothing. The Doctors are all surprised.

I can really feel for you wenchie because of all the bs my fiancee' and I have gone through over the past 2 years concerning our family. Theres is too much to tell about that but I just wanted you to know that I understand.

I really appreciate your openess.

White, aka John

 

I sure hope things improve for you

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/cherylal/Animations/KittyCatHug.gif

 

Stall the car on the train tracks... Nah, not a good idea.

We spent ten years before buying anything else that required a loan. And only then because it has to be a dependable vehicle, since the primary driver is not mechanically inclined.

 

Well that was originally the intent... Something 100% reliable because the driver knows nothing about mechanical failure, and gets easily overwhelmed. But he SO could have picked something that wasn't 16,000 USED on bad credit. He's paying $100/mo in interest.

 

Okay, I was wrong. Stall that thing on the tracks. Then stand back and watch the fun.

 

I think about it every day... leave it unlocked! Leave it in traffic! Just leave it!

 

lol

 

Had to reply reading this

When I was carrying my first son I had nothing to my name....not even the father as he was too busy being a sleaze bag elsewhere. I literally had the 50 quid unemployment a week to live on, and still had to find everything a baby would need. In England we have car boot sales - same principle as garage sales. I picked up everything I needed this way over the months and if you hunt around you can get really good quality stuff too. So it wasn't all color coordinated and picture perfect, but you do the best you can with what you have got and feel pleasure from that achievement.

I have the best relationship any mother could ask for with that baby - who is now 17, driving his own car, holding down his own job while graduating school and making me so proud to be able to say I am his mother.

You can raise a child with lots of money; you can raise a child with lots of love. But if you can only have one of those, I know which I would choose each and every time.

You will figure this out Wenchie - you've been through far more and are much stronger than you even realize

 

Same here, never had new anything for mine, my middle daughter slept in a drawer. I remember at one point having three dollars and asking my child if they wanted a cake or a toy for their birthday.
Hard times doesn't turn out hard people. Nothing lasts forever.

 

when I had Kahlyn, I was 19, all alone with nothing. Her daddy left me a week before I had her for another girl and his whole family turned on me. My family refused to help and I had no job.

I found a subsidized apartment and got a part time job pushing pretzels. I got assistance for daycare, food, medical and everything else.

Since then I worked my way, alone, to buying my very first house in 7 years with no help from any one. Now the problem is that I lost the job that was supporting my family. But somehow we make more than the poverty limit to GET and sort of assistance and are living off the fast diminishing savings.

I have no money at all to get this baby ANYTHING and noone with reusable hand me downs. I really need someone to cosign so we can trade in this stupid car for something we can afford but noone has the ability to do so. That one simple thing alone would SAVE my family.

I'm just under slot of stress because I am not in control of this situation and I am ALWAYS in control. I've never had to depend on another human being in my life because I have learned from experience that I can't. The savings is now under $1000 and I owe over $500 to Niagara Mowhawk. (gas and electric) and I don't know what to do...

I really wish something would go right.

 

Can't just ignore this thread, very upsetting to hear this

Sending some love from the South coast of England

 

:grouphug

E

 

You know like i told you today if i could i would Co-sign for you. But i am 23 and even tho my credit is in good standing i have next to nothing credit wise.

 

Do keep us updated! Any positive progress?

 

Tentatively I have been approved for unemployment. I'm not going to get excited or let that breath out until the money begins to arrive because I have been approved before (past companies) and a week later told that the company was denying my claim.

So cross fingers they don't screw me over.

 

im a little late getting to this thread, but...did someone ask for a hug?

http://deadon.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/group-hug.jpg

 

ew shiny bronzed body builder butt!!!

 

well, i will be getting PCAP this morning... and I was approved for unemployment, I just need to go to a planning meeting and tell them why I haven't been able to find work (das baby) and tell them I'm in school. They might, as in maybe, offer me extended benefits to finish my degree but I'd so rather be working... We also qualified for WIC which helps too.

The baby is doing well. But it's sitting on a sciatic nerve and I can't stand up for very long. That part really stinks because my house is a disaster and my boyfriend is a man and doesn't care. I told him I'm going to hide his power chord so he has to.

So, things are still really really slim but they aren't as dire. Christmas for the kid is looking very meager, we're going to try to get toys for tots because we can't afford anything, but I just hope she knows it's just the way things are sometimes.

I don't think I could have made it through this... I was so scared... without my Geeks... especially my Dork. Thank you guys so so much and when it does get better I'll let you know.

 

Hey, glad things are looking at least somewhat better for ya. Yeah, going through Christmas with kids and no spare cash isn't too jolly, either. Been there many times. ~ Best wishes to all, (HUGZ!! ).

 

found out my job created a loophole when the economy slumped to prevent paying unemployment and I have to fight it now. They decided to be cute and keep me on the books as a unpaid extended leave and if I dispute it it means i quit and they don't have to pay. But I was verbally advised by a supervisor I had no job to come back TO... so yay for freaking insurance companies

 

Aww shucks, sorry to hear that. I had PM'd you earlier, close to a month ago. Did you get that.

 

Sounds like you need a nasty lawyer. One assured that he get's nothing if he doesn't win your claim. And make sure any settlement means they pay your legal fees.

 

Your appear to fall under the Family and Medical Leave Act . Check out this link for further info.

Also check with your local community for free legal advice regarding your rights and eligibility under the FML Act. Before you start considering going to court, first know where you stand, next consider mediation (alternative dispute mediation).

Either way, mediation or court, try at least to organise pro bono (free) representation. Your local community legal centre service should be able to give you advice, guidance and if not representation, then at least point you towards a pro bono lawyer.

Good luck.:wave

 

I disagree with Pro Bono. I want a lawyer who knows if he doesn't win, he doesn't get anything. I generally disagree with greed, but when it comes to my lawyer, I want the greediest one I can find.

 

I don't think I need a lawyer. I have bigger problems anyway.

I found out my SSI - what was paying the mortgage - is going away. I got that letter in the same mail box as the one telling me that as of Dec 1st my mortgage payments are going up $100/mo due to an escrow shortage. I should lose everything just in time to have the baby. oh yay. Those were yesterday. Today I found out that last night my grandmother fell and hit her head. She has bleeding on the brain and will be getting neurosurgery tomorrow. she has only a 20% chance of making it. Period.

thats how my week is going... I would really love for something wonderful to happen right about now.

 

Damn Wenchie. For what they are worth, my prayers and thoughts are with you. That is all I can offer. Wish I could do more.

Eric

 

Awwww I wish there was something i could do for you. The only thing i can do right now is pray for you and hope to hit the lotto and share it with you.