I Thought, A twist on the English Language

I was once locked in a room at the top of a 30-foot tower, bars on the windows and a locked 18-inch thick steel door; I was trapped. I had been there for two days now I needed to escape. I thought if I rubbed my hands together they would get sore. So with this saw I sawed through the bars. I looked down there was a 30-foot drop. I thought I couldn't jump down, so I waited. All of a sudden it started raining in sheets. I thought grab a sheet I will be able to use it to get down, sadly it wasn't long enough. I waited a little longer then all of a sudden a blanket of fog came over. So I tied the blanket too the sheet and climbed down. I started running away but then came to a 30-foot high wall. There was no way round or ladder to climb over. Then I spotted half a brick here, another half over there. I thought put the two halves together to make a whole, so I climbed through the hole and ran as fast as I could, when I came to a fast flowing river. I can't swim there was no boat. I thought wait until 4:30 as the "Banks" close at half past four. Then I crossed over too the other side. I ran as fast as I could until my legs got tired. I thought if I started shouting it would be ok. I shouted until my voice was a little bit hoarse. I got on this horse and rode away. We got to the outskirt of a town when the horse dropped down dead. I walked a little way down the street when a "Bee" was "Buzz, Buzzing" around my head. So I thought that's a good idea, I'll catch the "Bus" home.

 

My old English professor would have a heart attack if he read that.
http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8794/heartattack5349429.jpg

 

Hmmm, yes you see this is why the English have sooooo much slang, we had to make it up ourselves because no one could understand "Royal Language" :-D

 

lol This is very true, I actually don't have much of a problem with any accent/slang since working in building for so long I've worked with guys from all over and obviously being builders not one of them speaks Queens English :-D

But came over to Canada and have had to force myself to speak differently so people understand me lol, droped 60% of slang, created/learnt new slang , stopped dropping my T's and in some cases changed them to D's. Although anyone here tells me I have a strong English (Australian is usually what I get though lol) accent, my sister reckons I'm starting "to sound like a yank" :-D