I'm having a hard day

I'm having a hard day. over a year ago i allowed a young couple and their child to take up residence in my spare room. i rent a large house and as my daughter was away at uni i could not allow them to remain living in their car when i had a spare room. any body work out where this is going yet? in Jan, after discovering that she was stealing my credit card for gas, i told them to leave (no kidding). she was very sorry and begged me not to go to the police. she works as a security guard and it would cost her her job. she is the sole supporter as her husband refuses to work. (no kidding). i told her she had to be out by the end of march. every month since then they have begged for more time. they treat us like crap for the first three weeks of the month then the last week before they have to go they are all over us and begging to stay. they have two little yappy terriers that piss all over the house and everybody ignores it. ( when my dog has an 'accident' its a bloody lake which couldn't possibly be ignored). they pay me $200.00 per month which doesn't even cover the cost of them being here. they use all the household stuff, washing powder, and stuff and never replace any of it ever. they don't even buy their own dog food. (i have to buy dog food by the 40 lb bag as i have two large dogs.) some of this may sound petty but the verbal contract was that i didn't want their money, i wanted them to get ahead, just don't make my life any harder. but they have in all sorts of ways. yesterday i went to see my landlady and was told that they have been making phone calls to her saying that it is really them that pay the rent, and upkeep and repair the house. fortunately the landlady knows better. she has refused to personally take any phone calls from them, ( this has come through her staff) and only told me out of concern for me. i want them gone today. i don't know how to deal with this one more day. i want to break into 'their' room (shortly after they moved in they put a padlock on the door (no kidding)) put their stuff in bin bags and put the lot on the street. i have spent the morning in prayer but it isn't helping. there is such a thing as justifiable anger and i don't know what to do with it. aloha laurie

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. I just hope things get better for you.

 

call the police and have them removed i would not put up with that cr@p and if that dont work wait tell there all gone change the locks and put there stuff on the street

 

Ive told them they have to be gone today. i don't know if they will go though. thanks star. you letter at least made me smile. I'm English and you kinda don't involve police in your business there, so i feel uncomfortable about destroying their life like that. on top of that there is the child to think about. i just feel so very taken advantage of. i know that is the risk when you stretch out your hand to some one, but knowing doesn't make it easier. at this moment i don't feel as if i will ever do another human being a favor ever ever again. i know that will pass, but i hate this anger and bitterness. i live my life with the least stress and as much goodness as possible. i know being good isn't supposed to be easy, but I'm bloody sure its not supposed to leave you angry and bitter.

 

Laurie you sound like a really nice person,just reading this post has made me angry,so I cant imagine how you feel.

I hate seeing people taken advantage of,and your case is unbelievable,I know you should treat people as you want to be treated,but they wouldnt have let you stay at thier place.

The child isnt your responsibility it seems his/her fate has already been doomed by the parents.They will end up sponging from someone else anyway so the kid will be ok,its like passing the problem to someone else,but you have had it for far too long.

KICK THEM OUT!

 

If they can show the police, that they are receiving mail at the address, and tell the police of having a verbal contract, the police won’t charge them with trespassing……. Do you know of five or six big guys that could come over, and send them on their way………wobbles

 

I'm not a legal expert but I see a possible problem with just trying to kick them out. I believe if you establish residence, as in you live there for a period of time and you receive mail there etc..., you must be evicted by formal 30 day notice. I'm really not sure if that is entirely correct and may vary from state to state. I'd honestly get in touch with a lawyer if they give you any serious trouble on this because there are laws to consider in this situation.

 

That really is a bad situation, I feel for you. When my parents divorced my dad rented rooms out in order to keep the house. He had a lot of problems too. They would steal things out of the basement, come in at all hours drunk etc. Being they paid by the week, he would give them a weeks notice. fortunately, they didn't give any prioblems and left.

My parents used to rent out an apartment and had a couple of tenants that were trouble, didn't pay etc, they had to give 30 day notice, they still didn't leave so my parents were going to call the sherriff. sherriffs allow 30 days and if they are not out on that 30th day, the sherriff would come and forcefully remove all their belongings etc.These people decided to leave before the sherriff came.

You can't feel sorry for these people or their kids, I'd bet where they were before they probably did the same thing. You have to find someone who's knowledgable in these situations so legally you know what you can do.In the meanwhile if possible, I'd put things in a place where they don't have access. Be a real pain to them...play loud music or something....annoy them and maybe they'll leave on their own!

I really wish you luck! Don't be afraid to get the cops involved.I think in this situation it's the right thing to do!

 

my husband has given them one week. whatever tenancy laws there are, cannot possibly cover living in someones house as part of the family. we had nothing in writing and only my name is on the lease. there is no post to most addresses in Hawaii, we all have PO boxes. in addition all the bills are in my name. as far as my landlady is concerned they have no right to be here at all. if they do not vacate by next wed. than i will put their stuff on the street. meanwhile i will remove the cable from 'their' room. how much you wanna bet that no TV is all it takes. in england i would simply forcibly put them out. in the u.s. its a bit different and would be viewed as assault. if i have to get the police to accompany them off the property then i will be forced to explain why. i think credit card theft is 'federal' over here and probably carries a minimum sentence. i am hoping that they have more sense than to force me to prosecute. thanks for all the support tho, aloha

 

Hey now that you got a free room... nevermind.

 

yes, here in New York you have to give 30 days notice, you can't just put their stuff out if they dont leave on due date, can't shut off electricity-nothing. Rooms? I really don't know if it's legal to rent them here, it may require a permit of occupancy, I really don't know. I do know if you are renting out an illegal apartment and you are caught, the tenants don't have to give you rent but they will have to leave.

Getting rid of the cable sounds like a good idea! Or you could always accidently leave a little bleach in the washer the next time you know they are gonna use it! lol

 

Laurie, you can't possibly "destroy their lives". They've been systematically doing that since long before you knew them. Helping somebody that's simply temporarily down on their luck is a noble thing to do, but you must insure that they are simply down on their luck. Luck has nothing to do with this couple. They're lazy, dishonest, parasites. And stupid ones. She works at a job where honesty is a requirement, and she steals from the person bending over backwards to help them. You do her boss harm by NOT informing both him and the police that she's a thief. If she'll steal from you, she'll steal from him, and from whatever company they're "protecting". Which is probably why she has that job. It's easy "work" and the "side benefits" probably appeal to her.

Any man that's too lazy to work is too lazy to eat. Much less have a bed to sleep in.

You aren't "helping" this couple. You're enabling them, just as much as if they were drunks or junkies. You can't help these two by supporting them. Possibly a harsh brush with reality may help wake them up, but probably not. Most people with that lifestyle are warped for life. Any help you offer they simply view as a mark to be taken. They'll smile and be nice, as long as they can milk you.

The best think that could happen to the kid would be to remove him from these leeches, before they train him to be just like them. Parasites DO train and use their kids to help shake down the marks.

There's a time for prayer, and a time to offer a helping hand. And theirs a time for wisdom and discernment. Your compassion here is misplaced. Sometimes I wish that gullibility had been listed as one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Call your landlady, and ask here about requirements for getting them out. She'll know exactly what is required and what you can do. Then immediately DO IT. If the police can evict them immediately, do it. I don't trust any advance notice, as these people can and will gut your place of anything worth taking before they leave. They are NOT your friends, and won't feel any loyalty for what you've done for them. A thief/conman will smile and stroke your feelings while robbing you blind. Get them out immediately.

If it's not too late, do file a report on the theft, and inform her boss about it. Even if you don't get anything back yourself, you'll deny her that respectable position where she's free to rob others while hiding behind the respectability of her security badge.

You're obviously a Good Person, with capital letters. But doing good things is not enough. It's never enough. We must do things that have good results. What you're doing is not a good thing, even though it feels like it.

 

Get them outeven if they demand the thiry days. I like the six big guys idea myself, but there is a kid involved, so I would go with the cable idea and maybe the breaker for the outlets in there too. Keep in mind they will may wreck things in there. Maybe a small price to pay.

 

Right, hide your valuables and anything that holds dear to you. They probably will do some damage.

Maybe grab something of theirs when they're not around and hold it for ransom! haha

 

yeah StarBowler hit the nail on the head... with the couple knowing their deadline, i wouldn't be surprised if they tried to snatch up a few of your valuables and hit the road early (few days before the deadline)... wish there wasn't a kid involved in this perdicament...

 

I'm sorry you are having troubles laurie. I have been following this thread and hear what you are saying about us english not wanting to involve the police. I also hear what others say about the police not wanting to get involved either.

Out the kindness and goodness of your heart you took these people in. I know how annoying it is when you do something that is of no benefit to you, to find that person turns such kindness into anger and bitterness in your heart. It isn't right, but sadly that can be human nature. Just know that you don't have to allow them to walk over you. They breached the trust you gave to them.

Personally I would use going to the woman's employer as leverage to get them out. They need that job...you have that control and it sounds like your landlady will back you up too. Just a thought..... HTH

 

i am just wondering but it sounds like laurie allready gave them there 30days am i right?

and here it is june so she gave them more thin 30days lol so its time to call the police

 

I'm touched by all your concern. i realize the phrase 'destroy their lives' sounds a bit over dramatic, but realistically she would probably go to jail. little tommy would have to go into child services and, especially in Hawaii, thats a very bad thing. violet is a hard working woman who struggles to keep it all together. i am less upset about the credit card (although i was absolutely furious at the time) than i am about the lying and scheming. stealing from me gets you three months notice. lying about me gets you one week!. lol. i hear what you are saying about enabling GT and i try very hard not to do that in my quest for world peace and harmony. i am not simply a 'good person'. i have dedicated my existence to improving the quality of the world. i long ago learned that there are certain rules to this. they are:
1) value yourself as much as you value others.
2) change is in the small things and comes from within
3) know that you cant 'save' anybody.
4) never give out more than you can afford to lose. all loans should be considered gifts because sh#$ happens even to the well intentioned.
5) never trust a junkie.

if anyone can think of more please feel free. i try hard . with those constraints in mind i try to do all i can to show love and harmony to all. 'non judgmental positive human regard'. tee hee. i have informed the landlady that i have told them they must vacate by next wed. i hate living like this. its a good job i smoke pot. landlady got me a new washer and dryer yesterday. oh the joy. old one has been broken for a month now and although i don't mind 'roughing it', and quite enjoy 'the simple life' it doesn't extend to washing all the clothes by hand. loincloths were so much easier than mens jeans! laundromat is thirty mile away and costs a small fortune. ill keep you all up to date on developments but know that it has been therapeutic to put it 'on paper' and and encouraging to read the confirmation and compassion you have all showed. much aloha Laurie

 

i dont believe in paper. i work on the 'honor' system. lol. if they dont keep their word i will get the police involved. my bargain was that i wouldnt involve the police as long as she was out by the begining of april. although i therefore didnt make a police report at the time, i did report the theft to the bank immediately i discovered it was missing and prior to finding out who had it. she had more then once apparently sneaked my card from my bag and used it for petrol and then snuck it back! and yes it is affecting me. there is a cloud in my home. aloha ps snuck or sneaked?

 

my stepdad says there's no such word as snuck, so sneaked it is!

 

Well.....I guess nowadays it exists since everyone says it!
You know how they put new words in the dictionary whereas say 20 years ago it either didn't exist or was a slang term?

I gots to get me a new dictionary!

 

I guess this response is expected from a New Yorker such as myself...but I would have taken all of their stuff and launched them out of the house the day they started getting on my nerves! Congrats to you for being so kind and all but you should really watch out on who your being kind to.

 

laurieB, following this thread brought back so many memories of the 'good old days' when we were all 'hip' etc......... amazing the number of ar*eholes who presented as needy but were just greedy.

I feel we have something in common; that despite the fact that no good deed goes unpunished we feel compelled to attempt them.

My salutations to you and your partner in this difficult time, I never thought I'd quote Ronald Reagan but he was kind of right when he remarked that you should trust everyone; but always cut the deck.

It would be nice to see justice done with minimum impact on your sensibilities.

Confusion to the enemies of Albion

 

isnt the puter a wonderful thing.

 

Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend's family and how they took advantage of me. Not only her mother, but her two brothers, little sister, her aunt and two of her uncles have all stayed in my one bedroom apartment at one time or another. First it was her mother, two brothers, and her little sister. They stayed about 3 weeks, ate all my food, trashed my house, and didn't do anything about the screaming, bratty kids running around.

Then it was her aunt and uncle and their three daughters. This wasn't nearly as bad, but it was still unwanted (by me anyway). They stayed for about 2 or 3 weeks also. After that, it was her other uncle which I didn't mind much since it was just him and he was a very quiet, "to himself" person. He stayed about a month. This is the same ex girlfriend that cheated on me for a month behind my back while living with me, then expected me to move out and let her have the apartment when I found out about her affair.

I can tell you from experience, you need to get rid of them, end of story. If you have to, threaten to report the girl for credit card fraud if she's not out by the end of the week (or day, or whatever). With that looming over her head, I can almost gaurantee you they'll leave without a fight. You'll still want to watch all of your valuables though! I learned all of this the hard way.

 

have you thought of using your landlady as the reason they have to be out right now? something along the lines of: you are the only one on the lease and therefore it violates your lease agreement having them stay there.
having access to the room, washer etc I'm assuming they also have unlimited access to the rest of the house, you need to make sure that anything valuable is locked away somewhere until they are gone.
best of luck

 

............and yet you're still a giver, that's admirable.

(apologies if my comment is seen as personal/presumptious, it's actually heartfelt)

 

You really gotta go with the "no more mister nice guy" attitude. These people are trashy, Don't feel sorry for them. it's probably their way of life.

 

i don't have many valuables except electronics. no baskets of jewels etc. big theft would be stupid because this is a small island. no where to hide. police have nothing to do except stop people for speeding. they would just love a proper crime to deal with. i thought about saying that about the landlady but decided my best course is the honest direct one. its a big responsibility being perfect lol. i just hope that they leave before wed. i bet when they find they have no cable it will make a world of difference! aloha.

 

Laurie, What would happen if you terminated the rent on the place and moved somewhere else to rent? Would the people left behind claim "squatter's rights" from you current landlord? In either case if you remain or leave: would your landlord a) sue you for sub-letting or b) sue you for breach of contract or use any other legal recourse as determined by your contract?

This situation is somewhat akin to "gypsies" moving into an "empty" field at the bottom of your garden and don't pay any taxes including utilities, council tax, etc. The legal processes take a long time and are a severe drain on resources both financial and people.

 

yes and no. these people are not smart enough to give either myself or my landlady that much of a problem. (eek) (everybody cross their fingers NOW). i do not believe my landlady would hold me responsible for these peoples behavior. (eek) (and again NOW). blind faith. aloha.

if i should take the wings of the dawn,
and travel to the furthest reaches of the sea.
Still yet your hand shall guide me,
and your right hand hold me fast.

psalm 139 vs 9-10

 

Now, besides being a major geek. I'm a part time bounty hunter. Say the word.











Kidding kidding kidding.

 

you the man capn! couldn't resist!

wish I was there-Id show no mercy!

 

well the shit hit the fan! we cut the cable to 'their' room this morning. (we had guests staying yesterday so decided not to make them feel uncomfortable). these two piece of shit people have immediately called the police on us stating the 45 days written notice wasn't given, and that cutting the cable was constructive eviction. the police decided it wasn't but advised us that we could not actually evict them for 45days. on consultation with an attorney i have discovered that actually i can. they would be free to pursue a law suit against me, but i will take my chances in court. in addition as they still owe a portion of last months rent, i am only required to give them 5 days notice. i then pinned both notices to their door. they tore them up. i then rang the police, and emailed them a copy of both notices.

 

and this one

 

***Grabs a bowl of popcorn and sits down for the show***

 

Well now I'm pissed off. I can't believe people would turn on you after you do them a HUGE favour like that. It's obvious they are professionals. Governments in their zeal to protect tenant rights (a good thing) have gone overboard with it and taken away landlords' rights. Take the door off their room, play loud Metallica, reconnect the cable, then disconnect it in the middle of what they're watching. Vacuum at 2 in the morning. LEECHES.

 

Sounds like a case for Judge Judy, Laurie. I can't see her having any sympathy for those creeps.

 

What a couple of bastards you have there! Like I said before and Sibeer also, inconvenience them, be a pain in the butt, Play loud Metallica or even pick up a subwoofer, play rap music early in the morning but make sure you have the sub all the way up so you vibrate them out of the house! If they have food in the fridge-throw it out, run the cold water when they're taking a shower! Be their worst nightmare!

 

Star's got the right idea, It sucks there is a child involved in all of this but if they are going to play nasty in your house you have every right to make their stay as unpleasant as you can.
also I think the time has MORE than come for you to involve her employer in this matter. If these people are pushing the envelope like this with you they have a right to know they have a crook in their business too..

 

i just want to sit in a corner and rock backwards and forwards. i cannot 'do' anything untill the 8th. even then there is a possibility that i will be unable to remove them legally. i will however take my chances with the law. i have access to good advice. i am very very depressed.

 

just make sure that the corner is connected to one of their walls and have something hit the wall every "rock" lol
And cheer up, you did the right thing, trying to help them was an admirable thing to do. not many people try to help others these days. it is not your fault that you chose to help the wrong people.

 

I feel bad for you...it really sucks.....

 

I don't want to sound scary, but the possibility of physical violence by these people seems real. If I were you, I would get out until they are gone, or just plain move out. Your belongings are a distant 2nd to your safety.

 

no. at least i dont think so. i have two large dogs and a large hubby. also, although i dont like confrontation, niether am i a coward. this is MY home. aloha

 

actually to my suprise it did. there is a loophole that states that i don have to give notice if i live on the premises and intend to use the room for my immediate reletives. lets hope that does it. ALOHA

 

Good find Star.

Stiff upper lip laurieB. You'll get past this and things will return to normal.