i'm sending my child to england

for christmas.....this is gonna be hard...
i think he lives a charmed life.
aloha friday.

 

I'm sending mine ot connecticut for thanksgiving... its not as far away, but it still sucks.. I'd rather keep her all to myself.

 

Awww *hugs* Laurie..it is hard to see them go, but they're like yoyos...they just keep coming back

I'm importing our two from England to the US for Easter

 

Sometimes. Last Christmas I saw my son was in 1993. His mom, my ex, has him convinced that I'm an axe murderer in my spare time.

 

It's sooooo hard GT...I've been through similar times in the past, but kids gradually work out for themselves the truth. How old is he now? *hugs*

 

That really stinks GT. I can say I never badmouthed my ex to my kids. He did it himself, by not wanting to see them.
How old is he? Maybe when he gets old enough to make up his own mind, he will want to see you? And to see the "real" you.

Gal

 

Well, he's now 25, and the last I heard from him was a letter when he was 18 telling me to quit sending cards/letters/gifts because he didn't want any of them. (shrug) Not every story has a happy ending.

 

Mine`s coming home for the holidays from college. I`m soooo looking forward to it but then again dreading it because it means I`ll have to say good-bye again.

 

My first reaction was it's his loss. Then, thinking again, I realized that's not fair to him or you.
His mother is very cruel to do that to him and to you. The relationship between you and your ex was between the two of you. Your son should really be forming his own opinion and not going just by what his mother says.
I know it's none of my business, but I hope you didn't give up on him just because he sent that letter.

Sending a big hug ((((((((((Gary)))))) your way. Hope you feel it.
Gal

 

GT.....just remember...it's not the end of the story yet We have to live with hope. Everyday I live in the hope that one day my 2 youngest boys will want to come live with me again, and it is that hope that keeps me going and allows me to hold back the tears. Hold on to your hopes tightly

 

GT there is a great deal of difference between 18 and 25. besides which you are in the glorious position of having nothing to lose give it another try. if not for yourself than for your son. much aloha

 

There are logistical problems. I no longer know where he is, and I'm no longer at the last address he had for me. I found some skimpy information on him at Classmates.com, some of which looked questionable, which looked like he may now (then ?) be in a different state. I nose around from time to time trying to get a lead on him, but so far no joy. I've got enough relatives in the Chicago area that he could find me fairly easily if he wanted to, but I don't have any good way to track him down.

 

@ G.T. Separation from my kids is something I am also familiar with, as you know. I haven't seen my son for years. I wouldn't even know what he looks like, nowadays.

He turned 18 this year, so, like you, I presume he can look me up, if he really wants to, I duno for sure.

 

please excuse me if this sounds sharp. remember i am giving up smoking but.....
call one of those relatives. call your ex wife. or her family.

if you want to, than you can.

aloha

 

LOL. No, you don't sound sharp.

There never was much contact between my family and her family, and my ex was very paranoid. She never even wanted me to tell my family when we were going on vacation. She cut off ALL contact with my family years before I gave up and got out. Her father died, and her mom and two sons moved to northern Wisconsin, her two sisters were in the Chicago metro area, one downtown & planning to move last I heard, and one somewhere about 50 miles outside Chicago. (Chicago metro is over 10 million people.) All this info is well over 10 years old, most over 15 years. And I didn't take the phone book when I left, so I don't even have any OLD contact data. My extended family and her extended family had virtually no contact between them. Totally different interests and connections, and my ex didn't WANT anybody to have anything to do with my family, including me, which didn't add to the harmony in our home. My parents and sister are now in Southern California, and I'm in Mississippi, and those were the only "family" that my son really knew towards the end. And at age 13, he wouldn't have any actual contact information for anybody. And no, his mon wouldn't help with this, either him or me, even if I tracked her down.

Searching for him without a current city is needle in haystack time. Been there done that.

 

Same here.

We both have accounts at Classmates.com, basic, no emailing, but my profile there has my current employer, so he could conceivably contact me at work directly if he notices and wants to.

 

First of all, I am sorry laurie that we seem to have hijacked your thread.

GT and Phantom..........I am so sorry for what has happened to the two of you. Women can be cruel, yes, even me at times, but what they have done just is NOT right.
What goes on between you and the woman should never be brought to the children. Your feelings for them have nothing to do with the feelings you had for each other.
They make me ashamed they would do this.

I hope and pray that some day both of your children will wake up and want to talk to their fathers.

Gal

 

A long shot...you've probably already thought of it...but can you leave him a short message on classmates.com that you would dearly love to hear from him sometime..... ? Just incase he checks out your account regularly?

I have a long story too...not so common for a mother to have to deal with this...but I have, and it has been extremely hard because everyone assumes the mother always gets custody. If you don't then they assume (wrongly in my case) that you are a child abuser in some way. Either way it's hard and you can't win. I feel for you GT and Phantom. I just thank God my kids saw through any stories and made up their own minds. Live in hope guys..that's all I can say

 

@ gal1998:- Thanks for the good wishes, I appreciate, that.

@ G.T.: Yeah, I feel your pain, man. You've known me long enough to know I do.

@Lev: Yeah, false allegations can be pretty devesting, even when they are just a pack of defamatory lies, with no basis whatsoever. I've had the odd Govt. types, who invariably don’t know crap from clay, having a go. They were stoped in their tracks soon enough when they were Subpoenaed to the High Court - and had to give valid reasons to the Judges as why they shouldn't be sacked and jailed for Defamation. People kind of thought better than to try and throw baseless mud in my direction after that. They lost their jobs, but fell just short of being jailed, since I recommended to the panel they just be made to leave me Hell alone, rather than locked up - Ha!

People will tell ya, I'm a big softie at heart, which I am, but I'll can be hard as nails when it comes to protecting myself, or particularly my family.