Jesus is watching you

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, then clicked the flashlight back on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so that he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Totally rattled, he shone his flashlight around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that"? he hissed at the parrot.

"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are anyway?"

"Moses," replied the parrot.

"Moses," the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot quickly answered, "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

 

roflmao roflmao roflmao

 

Old one but a good one. :-D

 

Should be talking about Fred_G's gun, though. :-D

 

LOL, that is the only gun I have 'named'. :-D Upgraded it to a wood stock and forearm.

 

Hehehe thanks for the chuckle :-D
I thought it was going to get religious and end differently lol
Cheers

 

Been awhile since I heard that one.
Thanks for the laugh.

 

Glad you folks like the joke, it gave me a chuckle as well.

 

Funny LOL I don't think I've read that one before.

It reminds me of this one I read:

A frail elderly woman had just returned to her home from a church service. Upon entering the house, she was immediately startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, Stop mister! Acts 2:38!" (repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks and stood motionless with his back to her as she calmly called the police and told them she had a burglar willing to "turn himself in" in her house. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture!" replied the burglar. "I swear I heard her say she had an Ax and Two 38's!"

:-D

 

roflmaoroflmao