Jokes/riddles to share with people

People who tell jokes and riddles can be thought to be funny. Jokes also help alleviate a lull in a conversation or helps change the topic/start a conversation.

The problem is, I don't know many good jokes, so I hope if you have a good joke, you'd write it down


1.
A man who lives on the 10th floor. In the morning he takes an elevator from the 10th floor to the 1st floor.
After work, he takes the elevator to the 7th and walks the 3 flights of stairs to the 10th floor. Why does he take the stairs?

Answer, the man is and can only reach the 7th floor button inside the elevator.

 

An engineer was taking a walk when a frog spoke to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I'll become your girlfriend."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

The frog spoke again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll become your wife."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket again, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog said, "What is the matter? I'm a beautiful princess. Why won`t you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend or a wife, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

I have wooden teeth and minimal hair. If not registered I live at the bottom of handbags or in the bovine accessories of men. What am I?

 

if it is registered, where does it live?

what are " bovine accessories of men"? bovine is cattle, so maybe in the boots of men?

so a comb fits, but I've never heard of registering a comb?

 

Why did the elephant paint it's toe nails pink?

 

To hide in cherry trees rolleyes

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?

 

I have no idea. I found it on a site that said it was unsolved or unsolvable.

 

Close enough I guess.
To hide in a strawberry patch.
Cheers..

 

What's yellow and highly dangerous?





Shark infested custard

 

Translated from another language.

Recent Excavations:

Russia: By digging in the Russian earth to a depth of 100 meters, the scientists found pieces of copper wires with an estimated age of 1000 years. Therefore, the Russians came to the conclusion that their ancestors already possessed a copper communications network 1000 years ago!

USA: In order not to stay behind, the American scientists dug to a depth of 200 meters and found pieces of fiberglass. Therefore they concluded that their ancestors 2000 years ago already possessed a very advanced network consisting of fiberglass. And THAT ahead of the Russians!

One week later, a local Dutch newspaper published an article about their recent excavations. The scientists dug to a depth of 500 meters and didn't find anything. Therefore it was concluded that 5000 years ago the Dutch already used wireless connections. They were way ahead!