Jokes

We could start a "complaints" thread.
lol
for all the behind the scenes commentary lolol

abri

 

Not since about page 4

 

Escargoting Moments


A couple were throwing a dinner party for all the major bigwigs in town. The wife was very excited about the party and wanted everything to be just perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any escargot, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket and gather some snails.

Grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would just come down the beach and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails for the dinner party.

All of a sudden he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing over him. They got to talking and she invited him back to her place for a drink. Well one thing led to another, and the man ended up spending the night at her place. At 7 AM the next morning he woke up and shouted, "Oh no! My wife's dinner party!" Quickly he gathered up all of his clothes, grabbed his bucket of snails, ran out the door and down the beach.

He ran up the stairs to his beach house. He was in such a hurry when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails, strewing snails all the way down the stairs. Just then the door opened, and a very angry wife was standing over him demanding to know where he had been all this time.

He looked at the snails on the steps, then looked at his wife, then back at the snails and cried…………………………"Come on guys, we're almost there!"

 

had a giggle at this one

 

Is Your Cat Trying To Kill You?!
It may be if…


1. He seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.

2. He actually *does* have your tongue.

3. You find anthrax paw prints all over the kitchen table.

4. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.

5. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.

6. Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."

7. You catch the cat checking out his new mohawk in the mirror and saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"

8. You find a ball of yarn tied into a hangman's noose.

9. Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.

10. He now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines

 

Toronto Maple Leafs

Just for you BirdBath


The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However, when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "Hello………….is anyone there. Can anyone hear me?"

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine: "The Toronto Maple Leafs will win the Stanley cup ".

"Thank God!" said Snow White, "at least Dopey's still alive!"

 

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"

The neighbor says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head “No. They're all at the funeral."


And for you B.C.

 

My youngest son Alex (age 11) is an ardent Canucks fan, well he is when there winning, so you know exactly how often he is a fan, he loved the photo BirdBath, he's taking it to school tomorrow. Thanks

 

Just to show the world, that even though “BirdBath” who keeps claiming that us God like creatures from the Nirvana called B.C., are really just “Pot Smoking Hippies” (not true we just grow Pretty flowers and smell their aromatic aroma)……….A clip from our own Major Geeks headlines :- “TORONTO, Ontario (Reuters) -- The use of medical marijuana has given two Toronto professors the right to something that many students could only dream of -- access to specially ventilated rooms where they can indulge in peace. The two, at the esteemed University of Toronto and at York University to the north of the city………….”

“See those characters from the “Big TO” speak with forked tongue, Lone Ranger”

Hey BirdBath how's the weather in the big TO, hot and smokey heh...snicker

 

Yea Love that one Halo

 

The Beaver

For my fellow Canuck "BirdBath" and his daughter

There's a guy who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.

So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.

Eventually, the bears went away.

Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.

Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.

Old Geezers Golfing

Moses, Jesus and some 'ol geezer are going to play a round of golf. Moses tees off, the ball goes right into the pond. No problem! Moses walks over parts the water and hits the ball again, where it lands about 1 foot from the first hole.

Jesus then tees off and the ball goes flying off to the left, hits a tree, then miraculously bounces to about 6 inches from the hole.

The 'ol geezer steps up, tees off, the ball heads right for the pond, a huge bass jumps up grabs the ball in its mouth, suddenly an eagle swoops down, grabs the bass and flies over the green, the bass drops the ball and it rolls to just about 2 inches from the hole! All of a sudden a worm pops up and knocks the ball in. A hole in one.

Moses looks at Jesus and says,
"You know, I really hate it when your…………….……………DAD plays."

 

Colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"

 

LOL

 

Glad he liked it B.C.

 

Bubba's New Truck

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"

"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.

"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya,but a new truck?"
"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, “Bubba, take whatever you want”.

“So I took the truck!"

"Bubba, you're a smart man!................. Them clothes woulda never fit you!"


Lipstick in School...

Ya gotta love this principal

According to a news report, a certain private school in Vancouver was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the custodian would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.


Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers....and then there are educators

 

i once saw a bumper sticker that had a "made in mexico" on it that said "my other car is probably yours" lol

 

An Italian TimW’s Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Timmie Cannoli?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Timmie, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Timmie Cannoli, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Timmie walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads."

 

I think you'll have to talk to the priest about that Timmie Cannoli

 

Yes Johnny... Cats do go to heaven.

 

Onions and a Christmas tree.

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well
son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are
like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears,
still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, “Mom, how many
types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
"Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is
like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties & forties, it’s like a
birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a
Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

 

Joke Shorts

A guy’s walking past an asylum, and can hear all the inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!!!”. He peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and a finger suddenly pops out and jabs him in the eye. He yells in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!!!”.

Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel. The professors were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"
To which the professor of psychology replied, "Yes and I think it's these pesky wicker chairs."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “That driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.
‘I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,’ she said.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked.
‘Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back, get the quarter back!’

 

Be careful what you Wish for


A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose at 6 A.M., cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 P.M. and began peeling potatoes and washing the vegetables, made the salad, breaded the pork chops, and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 11;30 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though……………………….

You got pregnant last night."

 

The New Priest


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”.

12) The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry,.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

Gratefully Yours
Monsignor

 

Nice one BC

So many good jokes! Amazing there are that many in the world.
hahahaha Thanks to everyone
Okay, here's another one. I don't think it's been posted.


Why did the chicken cross the road to Baghdad?


GEORGE W. BUSH
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here."


COLIN POWELL
"Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road."



HANS BLIX
"We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road."



SADDAM HUSSEIN
"This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."



BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?



RUSH LIMBAUGH
"I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?



JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." The liberal media hides that fact from you.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.


DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

 

New Woman's Drink???

Guy walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Bartender, got any specials today?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we have a new drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and a double shot of Smirnoff vodka."

"What the heck do you call it?"

"A Pabst Smir."

 

No..................but our Friend BirdBath did, and look what happened to him

An Torontian called BirdBath wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?"

"Sure it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."

BirdBath was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation.

However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting
1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anaesthetic.

As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."

BirdBath replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"

 

Jokes ~~THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE COP

THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE COP

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl
stopped beside him on her new shiny bike.

"Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying...

"Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said...

"Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said...

"Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

 

TimW’s Chinaman’s Sick Leave

Hung Chow calls into work and says,
"Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs
hurt, I no come work."

The boss TimW says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today.
When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon………………..Oh and you got nice house!!


Our Own Timmie’s Wedding Day

During the wedding rehearsal, TimW the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ''Love, honor and obey'' and ''be faithful to her forever,'' I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out."

Timmie passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the our Timmie in the eye and said:

"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

Timmie gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

(TimW there were no innocent people involved here just you )

 

Just for Birdbath and all Leafs fans

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid dog. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either for the Leafs or Jays fan. "What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French B**tard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet”.








A young boy keeps running away from home...

After the fourth of fifth time the Juvenile Court Judge sees him in front of the court, he has a serious talk with the boy..

"Son, you can't keep running away, like this..I am going to order you to stay with your father!"

The boy says…."I will just run away again….My father drinks, and, when he is drunk, he always beats the heck out of me."

So, the Judge says…"Then, I order you to live with your mother."

The boy says..." I will run away from her, too...She sleeps around, and when I criticize her boyfriends, she beats the heck out of me"

The Judge then asks the boy..."Where can I send you, to stop you from running away?"

The boy says…."I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs."

The Judge asks…."Why do you want to live with that hockey team?"

The boy replies….






"Because, the Toronto Maple Leafs never beat ANYBODY."

 

A Tree by any other Name

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

 

A visitor to an asylum asks a doctor how he decides which patients to keep in and which to leave out? The doctor says we simply fill a bathtub with water and give them a choice between a teaspoon a cup and a bucket.
Oh I see said the visitor a normal person would chose the bucket, as it’s the biggest.
No replies the doctor a normal person would pull the plug now would you like a bed by the window.

 

BC,
you are a true source of constant delight. The tree joke is simply great
abri

 

A Matter of Prospective

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked when you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies……………….......... “I would like to hear them say ... Hey, Look, He's Moving!"

 

Stormy Politics

Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and they are whirled off to OZ.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.

"What brings you before the great wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."

"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Who is next?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a heart."

"Done," says the Wizard.
"Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"

Up stepped George Bush sadly and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."

"No problem!" says the Wizard.
"Consider it done."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
"What do you want?"

“Is Dorothy here?”

 

He he he he. The dead man joke rocks.

 

Three Wise Men


Three Old Men were talking:- Mankind, BCGray and our own Timmie

The first one Mankind said "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old BCGray. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, and sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out! "

"Actually," said the 80-year-old Timmie, "Eighty is the worst age of all.” “Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old. "No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"


"I don't wake up until……………………….. 7:00."

 

Important Warning from Department of Fish & Game

The Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and be observant... ......... .

They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.

Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and Grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.

…………………..Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray



Hey Timmie here's some Pepper spray, and some Bells you lead okay

 

@mankind.....lol, sad but true!