Need to Laugh

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a
large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal
pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do,
on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to
try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone
in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a
curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us
both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think
of crazy things to say.
Forward this (especially) to all your retired
friends......it will be their Laugh for the day
roflmao

 

Also forwarded.. that was awesome!!!


Considering the number of furry kids I have, it's even funnier to people who know me. Heheh..

Needed that today, thanks!!

~C

 

Pretty cute, ask a stupid question, LOL