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new definitions for the cube farm

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Heather Ann, Sep 8, 2006.

  1. Heather Ann

    Heather Ann Private E-2

    I haven't seen most of these yet, maybe you have?

    : Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!

    1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

    3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

    4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

    5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

    6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

    7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

    8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two C hildren, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

    9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

    10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

    11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

    12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

    13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer------

    14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

    15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

    16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

    17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

    18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

    19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
  2. Bladesofhalo

    Bladesofhalo MajorGeek

    Interesting....can you tell me the source of where you got this?
  3. Heather Ann

    Heather Ann Private E-2

    Unfortuantely, I can't.

    The email said "anonymous source"

    If anyone knows, please personally thank them from me for coming up with Salmon Day and Percussive Maintenance. They can pretty much sum up many a work place I've witnessed.
  4. greenhorn

    greenhorn Private First Class

    i like assmosis
    unfortunatly ive seen that to much!
  5. prometheos

    prometheos Staff Sergeant

  6. G.T.

    G.T. R.I.P February 4, 2007. You will be missed.

    I "interfaced" with the adminisphere just this week. :mad:

    Tuesday they turned on a new "feature" in our still-buggy system software that sends out an email notification for every order that ships, including tracking information, shipping address, invoice number, and other useful info. Nice idea, not nearly ready for prime time. We don't have accurate email addys for all customers, and got buried under returning error/denial messages. The software lists the billing address as the shipping address, which is frequently NOT where the product ships, massively panicing a lot of our customers, and generating another ton of frantic emails and phone calls.

    First response was from IT department, telling us to verify email addresses on every order... ~15 of us do over 1000 orders a day... get real IT bozos.

    I suggested that verifying all email addys wouldn't fix the problem unless we both corrected it on each order and emailed accounting to make the permanent change to the customer's account, very time consuming, and pointed out that smaller customers changed ISPs periodically, trashing their email addys, or changed buyers, trashing their email accounts, or had multiple buyers... one addy doesn't fit them all, and we already just barely have time to answer all the calls we get; more wait time and more lost calls/lost sales would result from this crap, besides scaring our customers with the wrong address linkage, which we can't do anything about.

    Got a stuffy response from the head of the group that instituted this telling me that this was part of their "30 day plan", was implemented as scheduled, and any further changes that would be needed would have to be reviewed and implemented by the "30 day plan team" after further meetings and investigations. Nothing about turning the stupid thing OFF until they get if fixed. I swear they take their brains out when promoting above a certain level.
  7. Calltaker

    Calltaker MajorGeek

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I loved this one. I have to remember that next time I let one fly at work :)
  8. Bladesofhalo

    Bladesofhalo MajorGeek

    Lol the perfect description for me ;)
  9. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    I've "crop-dusted" at the supermarket. One time I heard a mother berating her son in the aisle I had been in previously. Small things make life worth living.:D
  10. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    That's evil, sibeer...pure evil!! :D
  11. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

  12. nitecrawler

    nitecrawler Guest

    Prairie dogging is great to observe, especially when it is the result of some Percussive maitenance done by the Seagull Manager......

    Thanks for the laugh Heather Ann!!

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