Oh Damn.....

My grandma is getting alzheimer's .... My brother is getting in that rebellious stage of his teens... We have 9 cats 3 turtles 6 rabbits ( 3 males a female and 3 babys ) an iguana and a dog.... and winter is closing in .... Im the only one that can realy stay with my grandma ........ seems like every thing is falling apart at home right when im about to leave........... I cant just leave my grandma she has always been thare when i needed help... and my bro... i was on the streets not mutch older then he is i got so bad... I dont whant him to turn out like i did i see myself in him hes getting as bad as i was ... I know i cant make my Nov 1 basic... thares just way to mutch stuff to take care of here... I have a ton of stuff i half to store and the family will be moving will im gone leaving them to take care of all of my things ..... I dont whant to get out of the militery (thow it does scare the hell out of me) every one IRL iv talked to sais im just making excuses but its more then that... Iv never been the one to run away from a choice iv made.... I donno what to think ... I wish i was 16 again things were so simple then .......

 

Dude, you've got to do whats right for you. Follow your dreams. If it is joining the military, which in my opinion is stupid but whatever (I think there is some sort of a war going on right now or something?) than do it.

Sounds harsh but grandma is old. You're young. Shes enjoyed her life and now it's time for you to enjoy yours. She wouldn't want you to miss oppurtunities because you're worrying about her. Don't just leave her on a curb somewhere, but find sombody else to watch her. Theres got to be a cousin or uncle or someone who can take her in.

As far as your brother, same deal. It might sound harsh but the reality is you really do need to look out for yourself first. If he's going to f up and possibly ruin his life, it's on him. You can't let him ruin both your lives because you need to stick around and babysit him.

Just my .02. Lifes to short to sacrifice your dreams because your worrying about others.


-Steve

 

If your grandma has been dx'd with alzheimers you are going to need to find a support system even if you can be there 24/7 for her. It is can be quite a demanding illness on the carers and you will need to take some time out for yourself. So while she is in the early stages I would really encourage you to find some support and respite that you can truly rely on, so you have it in place when you need it, and not have to start the hunting game in the middle of an already chaotic time.

I'm sorry to hear of your plight Ace. You can only advise your bro.....he has to make the choices and live them, same as you are having to do now also. *hugs*

 

Sorry to hear about your grandma --I have an aunt in the last stages of this and needs 24hr care(did this myself for 1st year then employed a proffesional w/ alzheimers experience)-There are alot of things that can be done to improve the life of the patient and caregiver.

Go here to find lots of help (emotinal as well as physical)


http://www.alzheimersupport.com/

myprayersarewithyou

 

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. My mom went through that with her husband and it took so much out of her. She had it on her own with rarely any help. Like Lev and Petal said dont try it alone.

As for your brother he will take his own road just as you did. Maybe he will turn around sooner and maybe not. All you can do is be there when he is ready to listen.

You said "I wish i was 16 again things were so simple then"
If it was so simple then , why did you end up on the streets?
Life isnt so simple at 16 anymore.

You and your family are in my prayers. I know you will make the right decisions for you.

 

Ace, other than you'r grandmother's diagnosis, every single thing you mention was there already. One bite at a time:

If they diagnosed your grandmother early on, she may have some good years left to her. Alzheimer's progresses slowly, and today there are treatments that can help slow it down. She's also your parents generation's primary responsibility more than yours. As has been noted, you can't cope with her by yourself anyway. Some of the other family members will need to make arrangements to care for her.

Your brother will make his own decisions, just as you did. If you're close to him, keep in touch via email/letters/phone when possible. Soldier is a good role model for a younger boy. You can be that by being that.

Box up what you can of your stuff & don't worry about it. If they move, they'll box up the rest until you get back.

Pets... !!! Ace, no matter how much of our emotions we invest in our pets, pets are luxuries, not necessities, not family members. If the needs of real live human beings make pets impossible, get rid of the pets. If those are all specifically YOUR pets, you should have taken care of them long before now. If they're family pets, let your family deal with them.

Bottom line, my friend, is that you're waffling. Go do what you already committed to do. Be all that you can be, be a roll model for your younger brother, and you'll still be able to pitch in with grandma after your hitch is over. She'll still be here, and will be more in need of help then than now.

 

Thanks for the support everyone ... Im a big believer in the idea that every thing is chaos and that control is an illusion.... Every thing iv seen so far supports the idea..... And from what iv seen of the military just reinforces the idea 10 fold ...... The one thing i do know i can depend on is change .....nothing is immune to the power of time... This will blow over like a summer storm just need to give it time...."I do not know what I will do, or what I will become, only what I am "

 

My brother has depression and sits around the house all day and sleeps or watches TV... my sisters at the hospital from 9-5 and then comes home because of depression also, and when someone tells her what to do she freaks... If you ask me its my parents fault.. Always ordering us to do things even though they are RIGHT there. I was upstairs one day on my PC and my mom told my to take the trash out and she was right next to the trash can... Same situation the next day, she told me to wash a dish that wasnt even mine, and she was washing dishes..... WTH!

 

Maybe your mom has 101 other chores to do and she is just wanting some help and support so that she can get on with other things? A home is a community...we all have to pitch in with the running of the family. It shouldn't be down to just one person. Having said that, if you mom sat on her butt all day doing nothing, and then asked you to do everything, that would be a different matter