Our Lifespan Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"


"Okay," said God. "You asked for it.."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

 

Pretty Good! http://bestsmileys.com/thumbs/7.gif

Reminds me of this:

Life Explained

 

That just about sums it up, doesn't it? And pretty darn good, too! LOL

 

God only gave us 30 years and we've extended it through medical science.

You know your an a-hole when you read a fun fable and you dispute its scientific plausibility :-D

 

Our voting lifespan explained

When your a child you think everyone should vote green with the enviroment in mind,you know what DDT is,osmosis and can quote how many hectars of rainforest dissappear every day but think the house,car and all your possessions get there by magic,if your parents don't vote green they are killing the planet.

Into your twenties your green votes didn't help and thoughts for the environment are gone as thoughts for your kids take over,you start your new job, don't have much income and you want the best for your family so you vote for the Left ignoring the disparaging cries from your children to vote green and the cries from your parents that they are all communists.

As middle age comes and goes you have some money in the bank and may own your own house,you worked hard and now the left wants to take it from you in taxes,the world has changed people have alot more than what you had at their age so obviously the communist government is giving your money away to people who don't need it so you vote for the right.

 

Pretty clever, I should be in the the cow stage but leaped into dog,
get off my lawn LOL (actually that's Dan)

 

Here is an account of the Ages of Man, by the Greek poet Hesiod's Five Ages (Works and Days):-

The Golden Age is the only age that falls within the rule of Cronus. It is said that men lived among the gods, and freely mingled with them. Peace and harmony prevailed during this age. Humans did not have to work to feed themselves, for the earth provided food in abundance. They lived to a very old age but with a youthful appearance and eventually died peacefully. Their spirits live on as "guardians".

The Silver Age and every age that follows fall within the rule of Cronus' successor and son, Zeus. Humans in the Silver age lived for one hundred years as infants. They lived only a short time as grown adults, and spent that time in strife with one another. During this Age men refused to worship the gods and Zeus destroyed them for their impiety. After death, humans of this age became "blessed spirits" of the underworld.

Men of the Bronze Age were hard. War was their purpose and passion. Not only arms and tools, but their very homes were forged of bronze. The men of this age were undone by their own violent ways and left no named spirits but dwell in the "dank house of Hades".

The Heroic Age is the one age that does not correspond with any metal. It is also the only age that improves upon the age it follows. In this period men lived with noble demigods and heroes. It was the heroes of this Age who fought at Thebes and Troy. This race of humans died and went to Elysium.

Hesiod finds himself in the Iron Age. During this age humans live an existence of toil and misery. Children dishonour their parents, brother fights with brother and the social contract between guest and host (xenia) is forgotten. During this age might makes right, and bad men use lies to be thought good. At the height of this age, humans no longer feel shame or indignation at wrongdoing; babies will be born with gray hair and the gods will have completely forsaken humanity: "there will be no help against evil."
(Does this sound familiar, and have a parallel with our modern age, Hmm? )