Single again..........woot?

So as some of you already know I was engaged........well I left her the other day. Sometimes I feel like it was a mistake, but then I feel better than I ever have. Don't know why I made this thread I guess just to get things off my chest.

 

Good luck and remember there was a reason you left. It was a good reason, what ever it was. Don't go second guessing yourself.

 

Thanks, you're absolutely right. I left for a damn good reason. It's been three years and I've sacrificed every friend I have except for the guy I work with and MG's and I've given up all the things I like to do, just to make her happy. She wouldn't let me do anything ever or talk to anyone. I got sick of it and left. Just hard being alone again but fun at the same time, I've met a lot of people the past few days. I thought things would change but they just didn't.

 

Sound like a situation i've just come out of- she wouldn't let me use Myspace, AIM, MSN messenger or any of those things, i had to delete all my accounts. If she knew i'd be going out to meet some friends she'd pester me on the phone with SMS or even with calls. Sometimes she'd pretend she was upset about something or create an argument just so i'd come home and deal with it.

We split upl ate last year and it was VERY hard. We spent a lot of time not talking. but now we exchange the occasional SMS and i'm happy with that arrangement.

I'm still far from over the relationship, but i'm beginning to realise that the world is my oyster now, and i'm feeling far more positive than i was a couple of months ago.

Keep your head up mate, relationships like that can only spell pain, and you need to remember that, even when you feel lonely.

Good luck, my friend - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me know how you get on.

rf

 

Thanks Radiofool glad to hear you're doing better with your situation. And yes mine did the same kinda stuff. I'm tryin to stay positive though.

 

That is a sad story! Imo, no relationship can function in the long run unless both people can maintain their own integrity and their own life. When one person in the relationship is that controlling, the other one will end up feeling miserable.

I think you did the right thing! No one should have to sacrifice friends and own integrity for a relationship! Good luck!

 

It all boils down to jealousy, which is such a pathetic negative emotion. Somebody who loves you should encourage, support and lift you up to be the very best at the things you are doing, and that includes the friendships you have with others. If there is love, there is trust, care, praise, support, help, warmth, appreciation, understanding, concern....if there is not love, there is jealousy, bitterness, anger, resentment, controlling, restricting.

As hard as it seems battling loneliness, you are both moving on to a new phase in your life. Best wishes!

 

Not wanting to carry a semantic debate, but I would see this as insecurity on the other's part, not jealousy. But yes, the effect is still damaging to the parties involved.

Be of good cheer ...

 

Wow thank you guys so much, I guess I'm not alone as long as I have MG's. You guys have really made my day!

 

I agree with you Ken. I also think that it can be jealousy too, as she did not want time spent without her, yet hanging out with other people. This is often problem some women have.

 

I spent most of my life like that, living another persons life. It doesn't change.Your so lucky you got out. Once your committed, then kids it becomes a life sentence for sure.

 

I know the feeling even though I am very young my last relationship that ended a month ago lasted 2 years I mean she planned a girls night so i planned a guys night at the same time (nothing wrong with that right? its all just for fun) and she got mad/jealous, and it was a guys night out! no girls there! and as much as it hurt to part it was much better then dealing with it forever but at least we've remained friends.

 

Hmm, yeah I lost 25 years in the last marriage. Although it wasn't my choice, it was probably for the best in the long run. Five years down the track, I’m still getting over it, but life is better than it was in most ways. Whatever happens, we each have a responsibility to ourselves and others to work with what we have and make the best out of the said situation.

Insecurity tends to breed jealousy and visa-vis. But either way, it shows lack of trust and presumably lack of genuine love. Nobody ever 'owns' anyone else, not even your own family.

The upside of it is - at least you changed the situation BEFORE you got married. Good luck with whatever future you decide.

 

Yeah she's already found someone else.......she broke up one of her best friends and her boyfriend (or bf as I like to call them) so that she could be with him. Don't get me wrong I mean I'm happy she found someone but, damn it's been like three weeks........wtf? Shows how much us not being together really affected her. Oh well I'm happy so, thank you guys for your help and support. It's been tough these past few weeks.

 

Hey padams keep the spirits up it's always a bummer, when two people split. If she has indeed found a new BF, then there wasn't much there on her part, or she is just trying to hurt you. Either way Bro just keep looking ahead, nothing can bring back the past. Sure sign a relationship is not going to work, is when your partner tells you to dump your friends