Things a boy should know.

I used to love giving my girlfriend dutch ovens.

I would wait till she was asleep in bed, then pull the cover over her head and fart.


Watching someone waking up from a near death experience with panic attacks is hilarious.

 

Lol nutter

I guess I can just think of more romantic things to say and do in bed......

 

Oh man, this is funny. I finally stopped laughing so I could type. I think the three times applies if it's someone else's fart. The first one's funny, the second one funny, but gets a warning, the third one you're kicking him out of your car. Repeat as often as your with the person.

 

its not just the farting that i wonder about, .....its the length of time men take to go to the toilet that worries me.

insomniac:- i take you are now her ex-boyfriend.

 

Yes, she left me.

Not because of dutch ovens, but because she thought I was using her for sex.

What is wrong with you women?

Always judging and criticising me.

It's "Insomniac, don't fart, wipe the toilet seat, pay me up front first"

 

HAHA! I think you just answered your own question there.....

 

Any of you girls interested?

I'm young at heart and regularly shower.

 

Once a year can be classed as regular..... no thanks

One farting, young at heart (but not in body) male is enough for me

 

Oh well, I don't care.

I've found the perfect female.

Only hassle is blowing her up and deflating her again.


Her name is Insomniette.

 

I would have thought you'd have relished that part Insomniac....letting off gas together

 

It's not gas, it's the breath of life.

 

Well, still unclear how we got from peeing in nature to jelly, jam, jell-o, marmite, and vegimite. My information for the difference between jelly and jam was from growing up in a family that canned jelly and jam - Phantom is correct jelly has no bits of fruit or seeds. But, the "dictionary" reverence threw me so I looked it up I found Jelly noun food prepartion set with gelatin, as jam, condiment, or similar preparation...congeal. And gelatin noun transparent jellylike derived from skin and tendons used in cooking, photography, etc. So I see I was miss lead I understood it to be from beef bones. As for marmite and vegimite I give; maybe our freind from or more familiar with the land down under can be more enlightening as (and I may have been miss lead on this as well) these are a food that have originated from down under either as slang or a truley specific ethnic delight.

 

Girls that grow up forgot that at one time between 7 and 10 years old if another kid even said the word fart we couldn't stop laughing. I am a growen women in my 40's and I have days that the thought of smelling someones ass gas can gag me but I will tell that moment to my friends and laugh just as hard as I did when I was a kid. As for the dutch oven men beware women can hold a fart for days fermenting we know what foods give us gas and I have had my pay back...he wont go dutch with me anymore...he also gave me Kudos for stepping up to the plate and playing ball when he threw it. LOL Know this the best pay back is a stank one in a car with the heat on and all the windows locked...

 

Vegemite or Marmite aren't delights, they are disgusting.

Most Aussies grow up on the stuff, but I can't stand it, and if you've tasted it, you'll know why.

Apparently it's an acquired taste, however I still don't understand how anyone can eat the crap. It's like axle grease, YUK!


BTW, the best stuff for farts is cabbage. For smell, plenty of red meat (which is why dog's farts stink)

 

You must have fascinating dreams.

 

In response to growing up on vegmite and marmite without a description of what these foods are I find it hard to agree with conviction that it is disgusting; I will accept your word since your response reads as one who has a truly sound reason to make a statement with regards to these food items.

I would like to share with conviction that everyone can relate to having foods from childhood that - to this day - will always hate. For me these include but are not limited to boiled hotdogs with ketchup, beef liver with sauted onions, boiled chicken - and yet I love grilled or pan fried hotdogs with mustard and/or cheese, chicken prepared by any other means than boiled; and as for liver: chicken, goose, beef or any other species livers will never touch my palett again.

I am glad I was raised to not fear tasting and taught that everyones palett changes even after we have medically stopped growing and that some foods are an acquired taste and we may not like it as a child, teen, young adult,middle ages, or our old age but if we taste a food again and again we may find we like it. However, I dont believe that I will ever eat rutabagas/turnip unless mashed into white potatoes and carrots with butter salt and pepper, but one never knows unless we keep our minds and our palletts open because, a taste is but a small bite and a napkin is but the appropriate disgard for what we discover we still dont like.

Stuffed mushrooms or any fungus to me still tastes like dirt smells, along with the texture but I have been taste testing these for over 20 years, I cant believe I will ever develop a like for these but one never knows. Yet, I do like the enhanced flavor when added to paticular dishes and so I do cook with them and simply leave them big enough to pick out of my dish.

Then there is my experience with smoked salmon: sadly this became a life changing incident. I had read about it and was open to the first opportunity I got then at a family members wedding reception I got the opportunity and the instant it hit my tongue my body instantaneously convulsed before I got the full flavor (at the instant it touched my tongue) and in my efforts to avoid any embarrasment I nearly knocked two elder women over to get to the ladies room to expel with violent heaves, I will not be revisiting that food item ever again, but go figure I am in love with smoked turkey...and canned salmon prepared like canned tuna fish...????

So in a final note that will read sad but true I would like to believe that as badly has we hate a few food items/dishes from our personal childhood; we have all have to agree we have experienced moments when we get just a whiff of those hated foods years later they can bring back a rush of pleasant, long forgotten memories as well as moments of nausia.

 

Well, there’s the foods you like, the foods you will eat, but don't mind too much, and the foods you hate. Then for some of us, like me - there's the food that just makes ya medically sick. I'm allergic to eggs. I've got queasy quiet a few times from eating certain foods, and found out that it was because there was a lot of egg in the recipe somewhere. Apparently, some kind of Sulphur Dioxide complex that's the problem, according to the Doc's allergy tests. Whatever it is, it's also found in Brussels Sprouts, which suits me fine, as I never did like the lil' beggars anyway, LoL!

Vegemite & Marmite are based on a Brewer's yeast extract, malt extract, colours and flavours (I looked at the jar, so I'm correct), as opposed to some similar looking spreads that are based on beef extracts. Vegemite is way more salty that Marmite, hence the 'stronger' taste. It's okay in moderation, i.m.o., can't abide big, thick slabs of it, though,....Brrrr!

Nothing to do with peeing or farting, but there ya go.

 

My freind had me try some Marmite, ick! he loves the stuff and cant get enough of it. He sais you either hate it or love it....

 

What's there to love?

Black gooey crap that looks like axle grease, but tastes and smells even worse.


I love things like blue cheese etc, but I draw the line at Vegemite. YUK!

 

Uses for "Marmite":
Coat an AOL CD in Marmite, hang it up and you have a fly trap!
Grease your axles.
Leave a pile of it on the kitchen floor and claim the dog did it.
See how much you can flush down the toilet before it becomes blocked.

More: http://www.eddnet.org.uk/comedy/marmite01.php

I have NEVER had it and doubt I ever WILL.