Thoughts for my dear friend

Whew, you take me back to a time in my life that was so hard. Every day with someone on drugs is a struggle. Life was so hard, good thing I was young and strong enough to survive, plus having babies every couple years.
Thank god those days are long gone for me, my first husband lived his whole life that way. Easy to get caught up in trying to stand by someone. Good wishes to you both.

 

Pax, you're an amazing friend. Kudos to you. SERIOUSLY. A friend in need is a friend indeed, as they say. I have people, with whom I interact//party regularly. And then some friends I meet/call once a year or even less. If and when in distress, I'd call the latter. They'd be on my door step in a jiffy, as would I be for them.

Friendship is strange at times. The oldest of friends can let you down. Then you meet some one - and can trust them with your world.

 

It's very scary.

I hope I don't come across as a rosy-colored naive cheerleader now but do keep in mind that everyone who tries to quit a destructive habit has the occasional relapse. My co-worker who was quitting smoking had a couple of cigarettes at a party this past weekend. I'm on a diet to lose a lot of extra weight, and I just finished scarfing down half a box of girl scout cookies (in my defense, it was Thin Mints!). The occasional relapse is almost inevitable, and your friend at least had the good sense to call someone she knows she can trust, and ask him to come get her out of there.

Here's the thing though... if the occasional relapses become frequent, that means the destructive habit hasn't been broken. Watch out for that. Don't get caught in a vicious cycle of becoming the enabling security blanket that bails her out whenever she relapses. I once made that mistake. Please don't... you're too good a person to get stuck in something like that.

 

I'm "Kidnapping" her this weekend, on Saturday afternoon. Not in an illegal sense, but I've warned her that I've planned 2 days of activities, which would require an overnight at my house, in a separate room. I told her I was picking her up Saturday, and she wouldn't be capable of going home for more than 25 hours.

Having a full day with her, I hope to be able to communicate things to her that I haven't been able to put together in our shorter adventures. She's lucky I know she doesn't like Seafood, or I'd be showing up a day earlier.

I still have faith in the whole situation. I knew she wasn't just done with it. I see her more and more though, taking steps to distance herself from it. She's cut enough ties with people, that if she moves away, or even if she stays, it may be out of reach, immediately, though she could likely make a few extra calls and get a hold of whatever she needs, I'm not going to be naive enough to think that it could be that easy either.

I hope with this time together, I can show her that there are people, like me.. Even if only me, that care about her, genuinely, without concern for past, present, or possible future actions. I base my friendship with her on who she is, to me. As much as I've been there for her with her problems, she was there for me, as a female to run around with, or talk to, or whatever.. Throughout the duration of my divorce, and I believe it was people like her, and several others, who made that a manageable situation for myself. If anything, I'm evening to score in my head, I really don't think about anything like that though.

So, we have a few days until the weekend, I'm hoping they're smooth, clean days.. I hope she keeps texting me just to say hello, tell me about her day, and ask me of mine.

Mims, I do watch for myself to become the security blanket for her.. At the moment, I don't think I am... But if that time comes, she's well aware of where she'll be chained up, detoxing for a month.

In all seriousness, I hope she doesn't try and change me into that kind of person for her. It'd be ultimatum time, and I would probably be resentful enough to walk away from the whole thing. But, at the moment, I'm full speed ahead.

 

People do drugs to begin with to mask other uncomfortable conditions, they may not even know what they are themselves but simply the drugs make it all better.

Have a good week end :wave