To Abby

I want to thank you again for the good laugh at my title.

Friday was my daughter's 21st birthday. Most of you would think wow, all grown up and ready to move out and start her own life.
Well, not the case here. She got pneumonia at two weeks of age, and spent 2 years in the hospital. She has two holes in her heart and only one kidney.Her heart stopped 4 times the first night in the hospital, and with that she has brain damage. She is mentally between 4 and 7 years old. She cannot read or write, but will always believe in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc.....

This will be her last year in school. Now, my husband and I have to decide if we will move her to a group home, or if I will quit my job and try to find something working out of our home and keep her here. Is very hard.

So, has been a lot of things in my mind, lots of reminisching this weekend. Abby, you made me laugh and I needed it so badly. Put a whole new perspective on things.

Thanks again.

Gal

 

(((((gal))))) extra hugs for you. i have a couple of relatives in your shoes.

if you read the last 5 or postings in the cat people thread i'm pretty sure you might get a laugh there...

and just holler if you ever need a hug... i got lots of extras, one size fits all!!!

 

WoW! No thanks necessary...musta been a little angel gave me a nudge to do it when I did to give you that little boost you needed. How you must be struggling right now to come up with the right decision..*hugs* My 'baby' brother who is now 41 has the mentality of a 3 to 5 year old in most areas. He can walk and talk a mile a minute but only those who know him well can understand what he's saying and then sometimes we can't either. Other than that...my parents have to do pretty much everything for him.

I chose a career working with developmentally disabled adults and loved what I did until an injury forced me to stop working. There is as I'm sure you know, good residential homes and there are some not so good ones. Having been on both sides of the fence I can fully understand what a difficult decision this will be for you and your husband. If you ever want to talk...vent....need a shoulder to cry on... have some questions...whatever my email is in my profile...I'll be here to listen or share what I do know if it will help.

Keep smiling! You were chosen to have such a special daughter!

 

abby do you need a meat loaf recipe?? or is star just a picky eater? i'd give you mine but i don't measure a thing... i can try if you want (dear abby, not star asks) LOL reminds me of the story my parents told... when they were newly weds my dad jokingly told his mother that mom didn't know how to cook (in 1944). my grandma packed and showed up on their doorstep.. ready to recue my dad from that woman who didn't know how to cook... dad was in hot water for a long time after that... LOL

 

Wow, Chris, that was really sweet and heart felt. I wish you both many many more happy and loving years together.

Oh ya, didn't I give a meatloaf recipe a long time ago.

 

Sweetie..thank you so much...as you know....but these kind folks don't...your post made me cry.....I love you!

@ mew2 & SilverD...the meatloaf is a running gag...I refuse to cook meatloaf until we move because we can't have a grill here and I won't cook it any other way...it's one of those things that once you cook it on the grill you'll never cook it in the oven again! LOL When I lived in NY I used to use around 10 lbs of meat because I had to make enough to take some to my mom & dad's and grandmas....and of course once the kids moved out they always came to eat when I fixed it....even during snow storms.....was an adventure getting to the grill sometimes! lol

SilverD....it's good to see you. How've you been?

 

Awwww, its like 2002 all over again

 

Very well, he about made me cry as well. A tear welled up but didn't fall.

Oh yeah I remember now, maybe you gave me that recipe, haha.

Isn't it wonderful to be loved!

 

@ gal1998 :- It is indeed a difficult decision to make when dealing with caring for those we love. As Abby said, whether a Group Home is an acceptable option will depend on how good the level of caring is, as opposed to just care, as well as it's location to your home.

I went through a similar process of giving up a profession and being home based to care for other family members. One was my wife, the other, my brother, who is the only other relative in this country. I always thought it was the right decision, but sometimes I wonder. One can only do the very best we can at the end of the day.

Most people know I'm an ex-chemist, but don't know that I used to be involved in Psychiatric Nursing. So I too, have seen what it's like from both P.O.V.'s. A severe back injury prevents any further work in that area, unfortunately.

@ Chris and Abby:- You are both, despite life's many adversities, very fortunate to have each other. You know that I hold you both in considerable esteem and respect, and am pleased to count you both as my friends.

Chris, I hear what you're saying. How can you place a value on, or put into words, when someone is part of your being, and your soul. You are both good for each other, at all levels.

 

Oh hush Goldie! LOL j/k Wait til it's your turn

*passes a tissue to SilverD* He does have a way with words doesn't he? I'm so lucky that our paths crossed...it IS great to be loved...and scary...and wonderful and unbelievable at the same time....ahhh....life is good! And I do seem to recall us discussing cooking the meatloaf on a grill....only problem was I gave you instructions for doing it on a gas grill and that's not what you had lol


@ Phantom....you are a dear, sweet man..have always thought so and Chris and I are both honored to consider you one of our friends. Maybe someday we'll actually meet face to face....that would be awesome!

 

gal1998, you're good people. A cousin of mine had a daughter that was severely brain damaged at birth. Couldn't even stand up unassisted. They cared for her at home until she was bigger than her mother, and mother ruined her back struggling to move her as necessary, while dad was at work, then they had to put her in a home. Tough decisions, and whatever you do you may have "what if?" haunting you. You obviously love your daughter, and have done your best for her. Whatever you decide will no doubt be the best you can do for her. Do what you must, and don't fret about what might have been.

God bless you!

 

Star and Abby.... you two are a real piece of work.


















A single piece... each incomplete without the other, and the whole is a real work of art.

 

Awwww... *sniff*


gal1998, u must be a great parent and obviously have done your best for your daughter. and happy belated bday for your daughter!!

 

Meat was never meant to be in the form of a loaf..

Babs.. don't bother, doll.. just keep on doing what you're doin..

 

It's people like Abbysue and Star that keep us coming back after all this time. Thanks Star for your touching post. It's always good to hear how well you two are taking care of eachother.

Gal, you will be in our prayers as you come to a decision of what to do regarding your daughter. As Abbysue said, you were chosen to have such a special daughter. You know her best, as well as what her needs are, so weigh your options and make your decision either way without guilt.

 

Thanks a lot Abby. You know how I feel about you both. You both contribute to so many live in a very real and positive way. The lives you touch are many, and are the better for it. It's a tough world, but one still well worth fighting for.
I would like very much to meet up with you both. We'd have a real blast, I'm sure. Take care!

People like the ones posting in this thread constantly reassure and remind me that humanity is still full of loving and caring, and goodness. Even if it's not fashionable for it to be in high profile nowadays. It is none the less there.

 

My second wife tried to poison me with meatloaf once, at least I accused her of that, had to have my stomach pumped!

I cannot eat it to this day, but, my Mom makes great meatloaf. I remember it as a kid, with mashed potatoes, peas, good eat'in my friend.

I will send or post my Mom's recipe to you. She is 85 years old and knows how to make a meatloaf.

Steve

 

What a wonderful thread full of caring people.

Thank you all for the comments to me. Hopefully we will make the right decision for what is best for her.

As for the posts to Abby. What can I say? She is obviously a wonderful person. So glad there are many who know it.
Gal