To those that remain, I'm here to entertain.

To Current Forum Administration: Doing very well, eh? You'll be glad I chose your site to reveal my existance today. I'm the Funny Guy.

To Those I remember (of 2): 1. hows about that badge? and 2. hows the computer business treatin' ya? 142230

To All Others:
Hello...


In The News:
"ATLANTA... Man... Rampage led to chaos... Chance..."

Strange happenings I guess... But more strange that I didn't first read about "The War".

Well, with that immediate thought, I googled "The War", and here's what I found:

I found a counter that says "The War in Iraq Cost the United States" (and surprisingly enough, that is the correct grammar for that statement. I would have almost bet my bingo card otherwise. Well anyway.. Enough intermono... *cough*) and then there is a constant changing number. Forgive the previous personality for a moment... I need to make something clear. At this moment I looked the number was in the amount of 155+ Billion dollars. So, to put that into perspective, I googled +"Bill Gates current worth" and did some quick, and I can say somewhat college level, estimation and a spirit spoke from the heavens, a popup advertised the necessary products, and the radio played "Walking with the Ghost". I knew it was a sign, and by that I mean an amazing feeling of surrender. A little to deep maybe... I'll just break it down:

Soon, I realized it was just an advertisement on the radio the for the Song "Walking With the Ghost", and that didn't seem quite fair as far as I'm concerned. Also turns out the voices were passing cars mixed with voices from my head, which in some religions are very much the same, and uh, the popup was selling a spyware doctor. hmm. If you're reading this with any Internet experience... Well, you know its time to change terminals. This current machine isn't even going to make it past tomorrow before Weatherbug appears again. BUT THEN... Then I realized that the war is growing past the worth of over three and a half Bill Gates'. Imagine that for a moment... Three and half... and and THEN SOME@! I mean, I'm never even gonna make it to "Microsoft Windows tricentennial Edition". I can't pay for ALL of this myself! Cause, after all being an American, I feel I have to take some responsibility.

But I know that someone is going to pay for this war, and I'm sure its really someone's children's children's children's children or someone else's. But sometimes I stare out at the sunset from my apartment's porch, and on the right day with a perfect sky and just the right amount of cloud cover... Let me tell ya folks.. The sky never looked less real. And I kind of like that. It reminds me that I know very little about all of this. I don't watch tv, I don't read the paper. Maybe the local headlines. See where people are turning up dead... Trying hard not to end up there... Ending up there anyway and not caring, and finally ending this specific rambling due to lack of material or knowledge of the topic. However, just for those of you who were interested, that is the correct time of day and type of sky to see the giant screen that the sky is projected on. Its all kind of a sick joke that "The Tank Keeper" thinks will remind us of our natural habitat. And it looks good during his dinner parties. Gives the room a sorta natural look, which is the correct way of saying "Naturey", which google has just informed me is not really a word, so to speak.

To end all of this, I hope you get all the humor, I hope some of it baffled you, and most honestly, I hope you learn to accept that Google and A.L.I.C.E. are the closest things you'll ever see to AI. Thats it, my friends. We aren't gonna make it to see Orlando Jones' hologram library database. We have that technology. And strangely enough, many of us have the ambition to carry out this monumental feat. But we've forgotten the true secret. The simple truth that the machines already took over. Right from under our noses. We'll progress as far as they want us to now.

Think about it. Right before the year 2000, we told the machines that 99 wasn't gonna be good enough, and in fact, we decreed that "The PC (Our new PERSONEL Unit) will expand MUCH MUCH FURTHER! We will progress all the way into the 20th... 20.. uh 1st.. centur... The FUTURE!" and so the machines said, "0". We said, "No! No! 1!", we heard only "0". So, we switched the machine up a bit, made it smarter, while also pushing to make it faster, and shinier, and better. Now, it is. Its the machine. The machines did take over on Y2K. But don't worry, its Ok. They like us. Try all the google searches you want. The machines will tell you anything you want to know. And if it don't know, it knows where you can pay to know. Eventually, it won't have to send you to the site. Eventually, the machine will just send you what you need.

Personally, I've embraced my new binary master and hope to continuing to be the machine's pet, and not its food. I suggest you all jump on board, buy the crazy PDA that has the phone, MP3 player, and Satellite Internet and Telephone with a car charger and cassette tape plug in for the stereo. After all, my flip phone does more than Kirk's communicator and Spock's tricorder ever did. I just hope the police won't soon be carrying PDAs with flashlights and stun phaser attachments. I think we as the human race are past that now. And I think the machines will guide us into a new and bright future.

 

Hooray! Let's have a Parade! http://forums.majorgeeks.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Everyone join me for a round of "For He's a jolly good Fellow". http://forums.majorgeeks.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Strange way to introduce yourself, but hey, to each his own.

 

Welcome FunnyGuy.

Can you post the Cliff Notes condensed version of that?