Your favourite quote/s?

Here's a few to start the ball rollin'.

Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.

In Investing, the amount of Interest you want should depend on whether you want to eat well, or sleep well.

There are momemts when everything goes well; don't be frightened, they won't last.

If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done.

Beware, the light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.

Bazza

 

Good thread BazzaHad to look up a few of the computer ones I'd seen stumbled accross the last two and liked them

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
- C. A. R. Hoare

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp 1977

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
- Robin Williams,on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

O forgot one of mine

"Inside every Islamic extremist theres a fat westerner tryna get out"
-Rikky still alive

 

The one in my sig is the one I go by, well not go by, but one I say a lot.

Rikky I just noticed your avatar - we didn't deserve it!!

 

I'm too overwhelmed with false nationalistic pride to agree with you Mcadam

 

There obviously wasn't much nationalistic pride at the rugby match between Australia and England.

What was the score again, .................. 34 - 3!

 

All the good rugby players were down the pub watching the England match.

 

I guess I have lots of favourite quotes. One of them is:

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. "


I believe it was Churchill

 

Yep, you are correct.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/winstonchu135270.html

 

This I like, should have a joke thread as well, everyone needs a chuckle at least once a day. So here is mine for the day:-

Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you.

 

And you also hope you don't catch a virus in the process.


Hope you're enjoying the tropics Bazza, it's bloody cold here.

 

Okay gotta keep the thread alive

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

 

"Oh Shit" - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, 8 June 2006

 

Love that one from Star17, LMAO.

A few more to keep it going.
"What can not be measured, can not be improved."
Quality expert, Karou Ishikawa

"The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing"

"90% of inspiration is perspiration."

"As long as one keeps searching, the answers come."

@Insomniac. Cold up here too.
Minimums overnight are around 20 degrees Celsius (68 F).
Maximum today a cool 24 degrees Celsius.

Bazza

 

FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.

For Bazza
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry


I never pirated it...it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow at night..

 

A few more.

"As long as one keeps searching, the answers come"
A good reason to use MG, I guess.

"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road----they get run over."

And one that I thoroughly believe in.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world,
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself,
therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

George Bernard Shaw, from p251 "The Warren Buffett way."

I've been called "unreasonable" many times, but by sticking to my guns (if I believe I am correct) I have had many improvments made to procedures and programs adopted. Bazza

 

"Tastes Like Chicken"
Ya right



From a Movie, Full Metal Jacket
"Two Hole Price of One"

 

A few I just plucked from memory,yeh right http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/


Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
Edward Abbey
US radical environmentalist (1927 - 1989)

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
Bill Lyon

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Bill Watterson (1958 - ), cartoonist, "Calvin and Hobbes"


It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.
G. H. Hardy (1877 - 1947)

We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them.
Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman

 

He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.
-- Socrates

Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in
place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room;
they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their
food and tyrannize their teachers.
(Socrates, 5th Century BC)
Looks like this is not a new problem.

"It is enough for me to contemplate the mystery of conscious life,
perpetuating itself through all eternity; to reflect upon the marvelous
structure of the Universe; and to try humbly to comprehend even an
infinitesimal part of the intelligence manifested in nature."
-Albert Einstein

"I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did."
--Ben Franklin

Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure "good" government; it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare — most people want to run things but want no part of the blame.
Robert A. Heinlein

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
— Dave Barry

 

lmao!!!

Ok, some of my favourites...
Humiliation: The harder you try, the dumber you look

Off all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

There are two rules for ultimate success in life:

1. Never tell everything you know.

 

Well, beating a croc or snake with a lash doesn't make them a slave either.

 

ditto the seventies, eighties, and a fair bit of the nineties.

 

"We live in a decadent age.
Young people no longer respect their parents.
They are rude and impatient.
They inhabit taverns and have no self-control."

Inscription on a 6,000 year-old Egyption tomb.

Bazza

 

Great link, Rikky. I have bookmarked it for future reference. Bazza

===

 

NO FUN TONIGHT QOUTES


Sorry honey, I hate having sex with you. Ouch!!!

Well... OK! It's probably not contagious, anyway.

Sorry honey, My lover is so much bigger than you that I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to feel it! Double ouch!!

Sorry, my birthday suit is out for dry cleaning.

But we already had sex. Why do you keep forgetting these things after having sex with me? Maybe we should see a doctor tomorrow.

It's too late/early in the year for sex.

What do you mean you haven't heard about crabs?????

I'm sorry dear my man hood is still green from last night!

Sorry Honey But its Illegal in this State to have sex with a family member.

Football's on this Sunday, I got to get in the mindset.

 

All is well. All was well, all is well, and all will be well. (some english poet)

and this one, which i found one day when i was feeling a bit lost and lonely.

there are a lot of people who have 'followed the wings of the dawn and traveled to the furthest reaches of the sea', but not that many called Laurie, so i took it personally. having read the psalm in question, it speaks of how god 'knew me in my mothers belly' and 'all that i am is written by you'. it has become my favorite psalm.

 

Here is my all time favourite which can be used on many occasions..
"I had a perfectly wonderful evening. This wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
Churchill (well I gotta fly the flag for old Blighty!)
upon being chastised by a woman for being drunk
"Madam I may be drunk but you will still be ugly in the morning" ouch that had to hurt!
Another famous one
Lady Astor:"If you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill:"Madam if I were your husband I should drink it"
and one last one
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"
What a guy!

 

Throw me a friggin bone here people...I'm the boss...need the info...(Dr. Evil)


They're Crap, Crap...Megga Crap...I'll give you two hundred bucks for all of 'em (J. Jameson Spiderman the movie)

Shouldn't have said that! No more questions don't ask anymore questions!!! (Hagrid - Harry Potter)

G@d D@mnit Shane put that down!!!! (my mom )

Uh, yeah... (my dad )

 

Hedley: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

 

Welcome to the forum GL

"Whats that thing thats full of well meaning intentions that never work out in the modern world?Thats it Christianity" Homer Simpson

 

Another one from Homer Simpson.

"Self improvement was always a passion of mine."

Bazza

 

Strange how any quotes thread always leads to the Simpsons.

"Two Bucks...? And it only transports matter...?

 

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

 

friends help you move .... good friends help you move bodies

 

lol I like that one! Here's one:


Never interrupt someone who is flattering you.

abri

 

Or... Radio Hack: You've got questions, we've got blank stares.

 

Policeman: Waste him, we're always right. Grand Theft Auto - Vice City.

 

I guess I have many favorite quotes ...

"Save me from that! To pour our life into sons for eighteen or twenty years, and then have the government take them away and waste them cleaning up after some failure of politcs -- no thanks."
"Shards of Ethan" by Lois McMaster Bujold

 

"I became to myself a land of famine "

 

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.

John Stuart Mill

 

Courtesy of: HERE

This guy is an English """soccer""" manager and has actually said the following quotes, most of which make no sense and are hilarious. You might not find them funny, but I do.

--

'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'This could be a repeat of the final.'

'The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'One of his strengths is not heading' (of course, one of Keggy's strengths is not talking)

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.'

'I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time.'

'It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.'

'Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.'

'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'Football's always easier when you've got the ball'

'They don't come every three days, like they come after this one'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'We have spent three matches chasing a football.'

'It’s no longer an 11 man game.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job.'

'I've had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.'

'We managed to wrong a few rights.'

'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

'You need 88 points for the title and we’ve got 61 at present with 16 games to go, but if you set targets you limit yourself'

'We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half'

'He’s got a heart as big as his size, which isn’t big, but his heart’s bigger than that'

'Well, if that's true then it would be a big suprise, but then nothing surprises me in football these days.'

'You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison.'

'Not many teams will come to Arsenal and get anything, home or away'

'Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'

'Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him'

'As far as I'm concerned, Danny Tiatto doesn't exist'

'One team with destiny already decided...'

'Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is...'

 

people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other

 

people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other

 

LOL

 

It is far easier to make war than peace.

~Georges Clemenceau

 

nice game
lol
abri