I Welcome Myself Aboard

Hi’a…

A Quick Hello...

It’s the full Monty or Now’t at all…

Having been a member since 03-02-06 it is time to put fingers to keyboard



I am D.I.V.O.R.C.E.D… My solicitor told me at the time I’d a got less for manslaughter, but the drawback is the scenery is not that good. He was a bit L8; I’d done 14yr already and the cooking was probably better too.

I can remember mi wedding, she was all dressed in white, Rrrr…

She had just finished her shift at the flower mill. She came hurtling down the isle like an exerset missile, I could see her coming; but they was little I could do too stop her.

Its alright for the vicar £300 a week.

He said “Do you take this women for your law-full wedded wife”

I said “I DO”

He L (o)(o) KED at her and said…

“I’ll ask you again” The rotten sod.

Mi honeymoon well…
Were are walking along the promenade in Skegness (That’s on the Lincolnshire coast UK)

And she said

“What do you think of mi flip flop’s”?

I replied, “Put your bra back on you’ll get us both locked up”

She just loved the way all the tables and chairs were outside…

Were I come from we call that eviction…



Yes I’m the infamous, the one and only “me”
I walk 8’ 14” tall and I’m as old as mi tongue and just a tad bit older than mi teeth; well what few I’ve got left anyway…

Truthfully, now there’s as word lol… I’ve a heart of gold, but unfortunately, I’m fat, short, balding mouse brown with hint’s of grey hair LOL and ugly, I’ve not got a lot going for me really, have I… but apart from that my vital statistics are like this…

44A” 36” 36”
5’~9¼”
14½ Stone of share gristle…

Having had two score and nine years (young) practice at getting my psychic to this panicle point. lol

I work as an electrician currently on long term sick due to an industrial accident while working out on site.

Hay but I’m on the mend; well stable that’s until I’ve had a pint or six’ish…


Easy Tiger’s; I’za only drink in moderation i.e. not too the extreme, I dunna won’t to spill any of it now; do I.

I love mi PC when it behaves itself, and “I hate football”…

Catch you all L8ER

From Nottingham UK The Worlds best City

 

:wave and welcome to MG's..


We have A winner for the best welcome center intro post, What an entranceroflmao

 

You sure know how to make an entrance El Tel! Welcome aboard.

 

Hi

:-D



So there is a competition

Put mi name down

 

Welcome to MG's El Tel, cracking first post :-D

 

Welcome aboard El Tel :wave

Hope you enjoy using the forums here

 

Welcome welcome welcome aboard 'The Geek Express'
Nice to have you aboard.....LOL Tickets Please....

 

yes,yes,yes, top notch intro:-D

welcome to the boards, hope you become as happy here as i have

 

Hello and welcome to the forum...and great intro!

 

Don't I have enuf bookmarks already and you come along! roflmao:celebrate
Welcome!

 

Hi...

I needed a good 2day, so I came here to check out my Intro and what a GOOD :-D I had

 

Greetings, El Tel.

Welcome back! :major

Nice intro, BTW...

 

A little might have been lost in translation. But damn good intro. Welcome.

 

Hi...

Let us know :confused which part didn't rolleyes translate and I will do my best to explain. But I do agree a dam good intro.

Regards

El Tel

 

Damn glad you returned or I would never have seen that.
Very good way to introduce yourself.
Loved every word.

 

Hi...


I first welcomed myself here way back on ( May 10, 2008. )
I've dug this out because I needed a right good laugh.

This post needs pinning not closing, to encourage people here at Major Geeks, an fantastic site for computer help.

I could tell you a little bit about my Grandad, he was really unlucky.
I mean unlucky...

He was shipwrecked on desert island for 20 years and on April 15 1912 the Titanic picked him up...

He just had a shave, shower, sugar me the toilet, ROFL and down he went again...

At school once the teacher asked me what does your Grandad do for a living...

I Said "Nothing Miss"

She Said "Why not"

I Said "Because he is dead miss" ...

She Said "What did he do before he died"

I Replied "He went white miss and fell out the chair"

Now I could tell you all something about Butter ...
But you would only spread it about...

... ...

 

You are quite the story teller El Tel.

 

Welcome back!
Looking forward to you posting in this thread.
http://forums.majorgeeks.com/index.php?threads/got-a-good-and-funny-joke-lets-laugh.297696/

 

Hi

Umm I had a look but most of my stories are way to risky, but I'll work on them...
ROFL
...

Well it's not a Chicken nor a cock... well I hope not

I thought it was a Rooster...



...

 

Hi

It's GR8 to be back, I know it has been 10 years but I had to drag this this back.
I needed a good laugh.

 

…
ROFL … Dam I must of had Dementia for two years … I had know idea

 

The chicken meets wile e coyote.